Much.....

excitement and randomness in the last 12 hours in my world.

1. Jane Norman are opening a new store opposite Dolcis in Ealing Broadway. My thin and fashionable friends will be very pleased. I, none the less, couldn’t give a toss and still morn the inexplicable loss of Etam. If anyone can tell me why they all closed, and where on earth us fat girls can buy similarly well made, fashionable and cheap clothes I would be delighted to hear from you. And yes, I know that Dotty P’s sell clothes up to a size 22, and that the Inspire range from New Look is good, and Evans are quite cool and funky now, and that M & S do clothes up to a size 100 or something now. But trust me when I say, none of them are a patch on Etams.

2. My friend Gabrielle who is very very clever and knows lots of very interesting stuff, sends me e-mails with links from a website she subscribes to (Erin’s Weird and Wonderful Word of the Day). The latest word she sent me is jackeen [jak-een] an Anglo-Irish word used to describe someone evidently worthless, but who nevertheless feels he is very important. Loving that word, and thinking I will be able to use it on a regular basis.

3. I am blessed/cursed to have a selection of very fine friends, who all look amazing and are all thoroughly lovely people. Three of my very best friends are fitness instructors/personal trainers and the like. One of them is recovering from an operation to fix a dodgy knee; and to fill her somewhat empty days and purse she is helping a friend of hers who runs the cheeky monkey juice concession at the gym I go to/she teaches at…. This morning she made me a very good skinny cappuccino after the spin class I did. And it was lovely! Considering she isn’t a fully qualified barista (what qualification would that be I wonder?) working out of some massive evil false-community building coffee conglomerate, I was impressed. It was hot enough, frothy enough and strong enough to rival the ones I normally buy for 74p extra every morning from said massive evil false-community building coffee conglomerate. Those cheeky monkeys even have their very own loyalty card. 10 stamps and you get a free snack or smoothie.

4. Have finally managed to loosen the ball of cement / cramp that has been living in my left calf since Body Step on Monday morning, whilst doing Spin this morning. Heart rate got up to a heart stopping 171, with an average of 142 according to the Polar monitor that Boo kindly bought me to replace the Adidas one he bought me last time that finally gave up the ghost….Whether it was the sauna like conditions (air con still broken at the gym), or the heart rate, or the actual spinning action that shifted the cement/cramp I don’t know. And quite frankly don’t care.

5. An old pair of khaki combats that haven’t fitted around the thigh, hip or bottom region for about 2 years, now need a belt to hold them up and are almost, not quite but almost, baggy on the leg. I almost wept with joy last night when I got them out of the bag of clothes reserved for the charity shop and gave them a whirl-Shirl for old time’s sake. Am wearing them with pride today, and don’t give a damn that they are two years out of fashion. They fit God Damn It.

6. Can anyone explain to me why someone trying to stick to a diet and break bad food habits, with no willpower and a crazy obsession and love of all bread products, would even consider getting her significant other a Breadmaker for a little “thanks for loving me even though I’m a big fat heifer” present? I don’t know what I was thinking, but even the smell of the stuff when he makes it is driving me doolally. And the taste? Lord alive. HELP!!!

7. Has anyone been watching the fantastic Britain’s Got Talent on ITV this week? Oh My God! I’ve cried about a hundred times so far. Some of the acts have really shone and been amazing and sad and just bloody brilliant. With the deluge of terrible Pop Tart/Z-list Factor/Find me a West-End-Stage-Nobody crap we’ve had to put up with over the years I really feared the worst, especially with Ant and Dec and The Cowell featuring heavily, but I stand well and truly corrected. Obviously some of the acts are just shite. And not even funny shite, just pure shite, but those that are good are so very very good it almost makes having to watch judges Holden and Morgan eat buns mid way through auditions bearable. Can’t wait for the semi’s, I just hope the judges put the right contestants through…..I’m rooting for Tony Laf, Paul Potts, Rebecca and Donovan, the Freerunners, Bar Wizards, George and Crew 82.