Am I awake yet?

As the week drags on, and complete exhaustion takes over, my dreams become more and more bizarre, and seem to spill over into daylight hours. By Thursday (or Friday if I don’t do Monday’s 6.45am Step) I spend more and more of the waking day staring into space… luckily I face a window with a view of a white washed wall, and have my back to the entire rest of the office, so I don’t think anyone really notices. Bar the ever present being-caught-writing-personal-e-mail fear which occasionally makes me turn round and lock eyes with someone, I have little (and some days no) interaction with my colleagues, and listen to my headphones all day anyway….so am pretty much left to wander in and out of consciousness…

I thought perhaps, you might like to know how my mind has been wandering during the past 12 hours whilst asleep and awake….

Why did C4 not put up more of a fight on our behalf when the evil Sky devils stole Lost from us? How much money was that deal worth? Do C4 know just how disappointed I still am in them, and should I write and tell them? And if so, to whom should I address my letter?

Shall I go to every evening performance at this years Ealing Jazz Festival?

I dreamt that Bill Clinton, Gianluca Vialli and Gillian McKeith all attended a bikram yoga session with me, and got into a bit of a fisty cuff fight over who could lay their mat next to mine…I have done a course of bikram yoga, and have infact, met all three of them in real-awake life… but why on earth I dreamt of them all last night – God only knows!

Wouldn’t Haldon Belvedere be the perfect location for a wedding?

How will I ever get hold of a copy of a book that I read years ago about a supposed nuclear test with the code name “Brimstone” that was going to take place at some random American sheep farm, but that was actually a live nuclear explosion that was going to kill hundreds of thousands of people. The plot was discovered by a man who checked computer printouts for a living….I can’t remember the name of the book or the name of the author, but it was brilliant. The hero also hooked up with some lady, and I vividly remember a scene where she has just painted her nails with a made up polish, and they end up having sex in a motel – her with wet nails…

Doesn’t Nancy Wilson have a beautiful beautiful voice? And how good is this CD? Buy it immediately.

How amazing is it that I still haven’t had a cigarette? It’s even more amazing that I actually don’t think I want one….

How much I can’t wait to finish eating all of the crap food I bought on Sunday, so that it’s out of the house and I don’t have to hear it calling me from the fridge and cupboard every night when I go home. Again, yesterday day was a good food day, then it all turned to shit when I got home. Three slices of Mummy-made malt tea loaf, 6 veggie sausages and half a packet of biscuits do not a healthy fat reducing dinner make. Even I know that. And whats worse is as I’m eating it, I go “STOP EATING THIS CRAP”, at the same time as thinking “MMMMM, YUMMY”….. How much does that stomach stapling operation cost does anyone know? Or shall I have my jaw wired shut?

And my final thoughts so far today have been about which of the ballet performances on in the Autumn season at Sadler’s Wells shall I go and see?

(I first became a completely avid ballet goer in 1993 and have gone as often as I possibly can since then. My favorite performances to date have been Joffrey Ballet – Billboards – 1996, English National Ballet – Swan Lake in the Round at the RAH – 1999 & 2004, Northern Ballet – Midsummer’s Nights Dream, Madame Butterfly, Dracula, Peter Pan and Wuthering Heights, Dance Theatre of Harlem – 2004, Ballet Stars of New York – 1998, Mark Morris Group – The Hard Nut – 2004, Birmingham Royal Ballet – Edward II, Sylvie Guillem & The Ballet Boys, New Adventures – Highland Fling and Edward Scissorhands, Matthew Bourne – Swan Lake – 1996 & 2005, Ballet Boyz – Naked, Adam Cooper – Les Liaisons Dangereuses and George Piper Dances – Encore. I’m also a lover of the theatre, particularly musicals and visual fandangos and include in my favourite performances Cats, Lion King, Miss Siagon, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Rent, Alegria, Chicago, Fame, Saltimbanco, Midsummer’s Night Dream at the Regents Park Open Air Theatre, The Rat Pack, The Sound of Music, Mary Poppins, the UK B Boy Championships at Brixton Academy last year and every one of the 7 times I went to see Five Guys Names Mo. And I also like going to see music and sport stuff too – and favourites include Proms in the Park in Hyde Park 1996, 1997 and 1998; the Robert Mapplethorpe exhibition at the Hayward Gallery in 1996, Julian Clary in concert 1997, Last Night of the Kenwood Proms in 1999, two matches of the 1999 Rugby World Cup – England v NZ and the semi final between France v NZ, and the London Grand Prix Norwich Union athletics meet at Crystal Palace…