So, no pressure then. A cold sore is brewing. I have the slitty red devil eye of doom in both eyes. It’s going to piss down according to the weather reports….and I still haven’t started the frigging diet. And yet according to everything I keep being told, I am getting married on Sunday. This Sunday coming. In 5 days. And people keep jumping up and down in front of me, grinning, gurning, yelling… “Oh my God, you must be sooooooo excited?” and I feel like a failure and a freak when I say “Erm, not yet, but I’m sure I will be...”

Ex-Le Grande Fromage has been interviewed (again) and you can find it here. Read it. He’s lovely.

I finished the new one coming in July from New Work’s very own Paige Toon this morning. The first third wasn’t my cup of tea at all. The middle third got me going. By the last third I was blubbing with tingles down my spine….

I am in love with Diversity . I remember being in love with George Sampson, Scala, Flava and Signature in previous years. I love Britain’s Got Talent. It’s my favourite.

That’s all for now folks.

My friend Bernie has started up a new blog on her website…and as with her fiction it’s brilliant, well observed and makes me proper giggle.

I love Bernie , and wish I had met her years ago when we both wore shoulder pads and had bigger hair.

My tip for today, read her blog and it will make you laugh. My second tip for today, buy her new book as that will also make you laugh.

The To-Do List is the first work of non-fiction from the great Mike Gayle, whose fiction titles (8 so far) I love.

It's basically 352 pages of Mike working his way through a phenomenal 1277 things-to-do which he wrote in his daughters little red notebook the year before he turned 36.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t love it anywhere nearly as much as I either wanted to, or thought I should. It was ok, it was, you know, funny and stuff, but it didn’t grab me in the way I hoped. I don’t really feel I learnt any more about Mike (other than the names of his close family members) than before I read it, and I didn’t get any real sense that he had learnt “stuff about life (323), love (999), friends (1004) and family (9) and finally work out what it means to be a grown up (846)”.

Sorry.

It’s very rare that I’m got. I’m normally the one who does the gotting (getting?). I’m normally the one in charge of the planning and the organisation and the surprise and the stuff. And yet, on Friday I was well and truly gotten. What was supposed to be as far as I knew, a “lets meet for lunch as we are all off” day in Notting Hill on Friday with the girls, was hijacked into a sort of hen day thing for me instead. It was lovely. There were glow in the dark penis earrings. Strawberry body paint. Plastic penis straws. Passion fruit massage oil…. such class! There was a fair bit of booze, and a healthy dose of inappropriate “all men are shit” discussions… There was also a smartbox delicious retreat gift box voucher – which will involve an overnight stay in one of 50 4 star hotels around the UK, breakfast, a three course meal and a welcome glass of fizz on arrival for me and my future husband. A lovely surprise and great present…

Saturday me and Boo were heading off for our romantic weekend Easter break. He had booked a gorgeous Victoria gothic hotel in Windsor (where we got engaged) that allegedly was used as the English HQ of the French Resistance during WWII… amazing surroundings, beautiful location right on the banks of the Thames…blah blah bloody blah. It was roasting hot all the time, the windows didn’t fit quite right so let in mosquito’s, the plumbing was both noisy and useless, the air con didn’t work but was constantly droning in the background even when turned off and our room service dinner was delivered wrongly! We were offered a transfer at 2 in the morning to a twin room, but even we would struggle to be romantic in separate beds, so couldn’t wait to get home on Sunday for some sofa and pj action. Heaven.

The Nearly-Weds is the second book on offer from great new chick lit author, Jane Costello, and tells the story of poor old Zoe Moore, who having been jilted at the alter by childhood sweetheart Jason, buggers off to the US of A to become a nanny. She gets dumped again by the new family she is supposed to go and work for even before she meets them, and ends up with single dad Ryan and his two kids Ruby and Samuel….

Ryan is a complete dish, and Zoe quickly falls in lust with him, despite still being firmly in love with Jason and embarks on a steamy affair… all the time sorting out the kids and the home with the help of her new friends.

If you are popping off for some Spring sun this Easter, you could do worse than slip this into your beach bag. It's short, sweet and good fun.

26 days....

With less than 4 weeks to go now, you would imagine that we are in a complete mad dash to get things planned and arranged and sorted. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is where you would be wrong. Being afflicted as I am with a mild (some would say major) dosage of OCD, I had everything in hand months ago…so all that has been left to do recently is send off some huge cheques to a bunch of lovely people to ensure that we have cakes, flowers and photos…

So me and him can just sit around going “oooh, are you nervous” and “oooh, are you excited” in equal measure.

There is just one slight sticky wicket at the moment. The dress. Despite having had 4 fittings, the damn thing is still too damn big. Not just a tad loose. HUGE. Don’t for a moment imagine this is due to a drastic weight loss…nope, still a lard arse… It just seems to have been ordered in literally double the size it should have been. Final (she says) fitting is just two weeks before the wedding. And trust me, there will be tears at bedtime if it doesn’t fit then…tears, and violence I think.