No Longer A Virgin

For reasons too complicated/embarrassing/dull to mention, I cancelled my membership at The Gym at the end of September. It would appear that in just 7 weeks a person can put on about a stone in weight if they don't do any exercise. I also believe eating enough to feed a small family of four can add to that weight increase. I further believe (although I am awaiting a second opinion) that unless I pull my finger out of my whatever, and stop pulling the wool over my eyes I will be a fatty till I die. For the love of God why the fuck do I find this so chuffing hard. I mean, its not rocket science. JUST STOP FUCKING EATING. Please, I beg of you, if you see me within a 100 paces of ANYTHING that looks like food, will you please hurl a Tazer in my direction....