8 April 2009

The Nearly-Weds is the second book on offer from great new chick lit author, Jane Costello, and tells the story of poor old Zoe Moore, who having been jilted at the alter by childhood sweetheart Jason, buggers off to the US of A to become a nanny. She gets dumped again by the new family she is supposed to go and work for even before she meets them, and ends up with single dad Ryan and his two kids Ruby and Samuel….

Ryan is a complete dish, and Zoe quickly falls in lust with him, despite still being firmly in love with Jason and embarks on a steamy affair… all the time sorting out the kids and the home with the help of her new friends.

If you are popping off for some Spring sun this Easter, you could do worse than slip this into your beach bag. It's short, sweet and good fun.

7 April 2009

26 days....

With less than 4 weeks to go now, you would imagine that we are in a complete mad dash to get things planned and arranged and sorted. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is where you would be wrong. Being afflicted as I am with a mild (some would say major) dosage of OCD, I had everything in hand months ago…so all that has been left to do recently is send off some huge cheques to a bunch of lovely people to ensure that we have cakes, flowers and photos…

So me and him can just sit around going “oooh, are you nervous” and “oooh, are you excited” in equal measure.

There is just one slight sticky wicket at the moment. The dress. Despite having had 4 fittings, the damn thing is still too damn big. Not just a tad loose. HUGE. Don’t for a moment imagine this is due to a drastic weight loss…nope, still a lard arse… It just seems to have been ordered in literally double the size it should have been. Final (she says) fitting is just two weeks before the wedding. And trust me, there will be tears at bedtime if it doesn’t fit then…tears, and violence I think.

23 March 2009

Watching

There has been a fair amount of film watching going on of late….the bulk of which have passed me by without feeling the need to pass comment. BUT. In the spirit of washing all my dirty linen in public as I do, I thought you might like to know my thoughts on the following…

Gran Torino – so overrated I can not begin to understand what the critics were watching when they called it mesmerising. Dull and long.
Seven Pounds – brilliant, but confusing.
The Wrestler – I have just one word – enunciate.
The Dark Knight – cripes. Fabulous.
Slumdog Millionaire – wasn’t prepared for the violence, but brilliant.
WALL-E – my favourite film for a long time. Just beautiful and gorgeous and sweet. Until the fat Americans save the planet.
Taken – quite shocking…but good fun.

That's all folks...

21 March 2009

43

days to go. 6 weeks. Things are hotting up. And our bank account is bleeding money out of every pore. Literally. Christ these things are fucking costly. Let's hope a good time is had by all that's all I can say.

Later on today we take Ms Williams out for some birthday good stuff. There will be eating. There will be drinking. And by God, there will be dancing.

Tomorrow the traditional Mother's Day Afternoon Tea will take place, this year we've chosen the Mandarin Oriental and I have high hopes for the scones and the buns.

Next week I'm being taken for something fabulous and secret on Wednesday. It's in Soho. It's an early start. I have no idea what "it" is, but as long as it doesn't involve offal or chess I'm happy.

Next Friday we are off to meet Mr Registrar for some planning of the ceremony business. We have to take a yellow form. And some blue forms. And a thing about stuff. And some vows. And, you know, other bits.

Then on Saturday we are having a Non-Stag Anti-Hen Pre-Wedding Get-Together Drinks-Thing. I'm wearing a frock. And having my hair done. And will hopefully be sozzled before the sun goes down.

The following weekend I'm taking The Mother of the Bride to see some ballet. And then we've got a secret surprise birthday party. And a family lunch on the Sunday.

The weekend after that it's Easter. I will be eating my body weight in chocolate.

The weekend after that it will be 2 weeks to go.

The weekend after that it will be 1 week to go.

The weekend after that I go from SJP to SJV and people will confuse me for a people carrier...

16 March 2009

This had me crying with laugher on Friday night…

And it’s still the funniest thing from Comic Relief this year.

13 March 2009

Funny for Money?

Four hours in, and at last, something funny worth my money.

Catherine Tate as Rude Nana, NOT accepting the grand for the Jubilee Centre for Old People.

Fucking hilarious.

3 March 2009

I finished How to Lose a Husband and Gain a Life this morning in the bath. (I spend WAY too much time doing things other than gettingreadyforwork in the morning….)

I hope I’m not too biased, given that I LOVE the author, but I love the book too…otherwise it would make our lunch date on Sunday a tad tricky ey? But it really is brill. Ruby Gallagher has a seemingly fabulous life. Big old gangster dude husband, much shopping and not much housework…la la la. Then Gangster Dude gets done for fraud and Ruby finds out some rather unpleasant hidden truths about their life together – forcing her to take stock and turn her life around with the help of a feather dusty, a clown, a superb gay couple Teddy and Kendall, and new best-friend-hiding-a-secret Maria.

As ever, Bernadette delivers a classic holiday read, it’s fast and pacy, funny and warm with brilliant characters, a great storyline and the feel-good factor you now come to expect.

Am hoping that the move to Little, Brown will ensure that How to Lose a Husband secures all the right placements in all the trade and high street retailers to guarantee a hike up the charts and a place on all the Summer Read recommends lists…

2 March 2009

I'll Be There For You

I was just happily googling some of my favourite authors websites to see what’s new, what’s coming, what I might have missed and came across this which I am delighted about – even if they can't spell my name right!!

Brand Candlish is well on its way to securing its permanent place on the Top 10 FOS shelves of all good bookshelves, with echoes of Jodi Picoult in style and the love child of Katie Fforde and Maggie O'Farrell in content' Sarah-Jade Piper (Fat Girl on the Run blog)

Am hoping that a copy of her new book might squirrel its way out of LB HQ?!

62 days and counting

It was a very interesting week….we had a gorgeous tasting meal at The Inn on the Green. The best pannacotta with poached strawberries I have ever put in my mouth featured strongly, together with the house champagne, house white and house red. I was very drunk and it was a school night.

Thursday morning The Sister had her next fitting for her dress… she looks amazing, 10 years younger, 10 foot taller and 10 pound lighter. I felt like a proud mother.

I asked Peter Kay to cancel his gig in Vegas and come and do a skit at our wedding… he’s considering it obviously.

I reactivated myself on facebook, and immediately regretted it.

Me and Boo got some new specs.

I finally ordered my wedding ring.

I made a ginger cake.

I did some epilating, some fake tanning, painted my nails in a French manicure styley, blow dried my hair straight….generally pampered myself.

This week will see another 5 hours of sweating at the gym, a dinner with my favourite American, my next dress fitting and a rather exciting lunch plan with my favourite author friend. Luckily the lunch is after the fitting...how fabulous.

25 February 2009

At the weekend we niece-sat. She was dropped off by The Sister and The Brother In Law in time for lunch on Friday, and picked up again on Sunday afternoon.

That was not one, but two nights. Two bedtime routines. Three lunches. Two dinners. Two breakfasts. Two bathtimes.

And about 5 hours of just me and her time before her very favourite Uncle got home from work on Friday night. I had never, not ever, in her entire 4 years and 10 months on the earth, spent 1 minute on my own with her before then.

I was bricking it big time.

But despite being told I was no fun (she cannot lie my niece), witnessing head bumps and one fall, I had an absolute ball. She was a complete delight to have, and we loved every minute of having her to stay. Even the no sleep on Friday night minutes, and the slightly tense minutes after her nap on Saturday afternoon….

However.

Never before have I been so sure that motherhood is not for me. It is exhausting. Draining. Completely consuming. Utterly petrifying. And requires a level of patience, understanding and tolerance that I just do not have.

Being an aunt meanwhile, is almost the very best thing in the world. If I could just calm down and stop imagining I’m seconds away from breaking her it would be THE best thing in the world.

Except cupcakes maybe….

19 February 2009

It has taken me 46 days to loose 1 stone. I have 73 days left to go. Even I can work out that my goal of a 5 stone loss before the wedding is now shot to bits. Best possible would be another stone and a half…

Fucketyduck Mother Fuck.

16 February 2009

On Friday, we did some crunching at Work of the new Walkers crisps. They were all horrible - tasting of old man socks and other peoples burps...and other nasty things that one would never want in ones mouth. Charlie Brooker has tasted them too, and written about it in a very funny way here.

13 February 2009

79 days to go...

So tonight we are off to The Inn on the Green for some Pre-Valentine/Wedding Breakfast Tasting Menu dinner. We get the heavenly chore of scoffing two starters, two mains and not one, but two puddings…

Such a very hard life we live.

We’ve gone for the Loch Fyne organic salmon with rye bread and Chicken liver parfait, fig chutney and toasted brioche to start, Sautéed sea bass, spaghetti of crab, chilli and spring onion and Scotch salmon Wellington, Pernod and fennel veloute for main, and then some Pannacotta with poached strawberries and a Chocolate fondant with pistachio ice cream to finish. Am obviously salivating just typing those words.

Then tomorrow, for the official day of love, we are dining at home from the rather nice (and equally as cheap) £10 Waitrose Dinner at Home offer – Lobster Bisque to start, Steak for main, and then some Gu chocolate puds for dessert.

The diet is off for the next 48 hours. Sunday it’s off to the scout hut / sports centre for 6 hours of cardio to work it all off again…

9 February 2009

So, we have just 12 weeks left before The Big Day. That’s 84 days… 3 months, give or take….

Cripes.

Am so excited now. Yippee for me. And him of course.

The diet was shot to bits over the weekend, as I invited The Girls over for another evening of all things lard and carb laden on Saturday. Mango & chilli marinated prawns with a pomegranate salad to start. Lorrie’s special Italian pasta sauce. Homemade seeded bread. Raspberry and basil infused icecream. Chocolate mouse. Sticky ginger cake… all washed down with many bottles of rose.

I got to bed at 4.30am. Boo timed it perfectly and came home at 5am. So delighted we had arranged to pop over to The Mother of the Bride’s for Sunday lunch 6 hours later. Couldn’t be more tired if we had tried. And hungover of course.

This weekend we will be staying at home, in bed, doing all things Valentine-y. Ahem…

4 February 2009

What Next?

It feels like it’s taken me about 12 years to finish The First Assistant which I’ve had sitting about for a fair few years anyway on the shelf in proof version. It was good, I liked it, it didn’t blow me away, but then very few books do these days.

However. I have on my bedside box the following:

The brand new book coming in April from my lovely chum Bernie – who has slipped ships from Hodder to Little, Brown and been reinvented by the lovely Jo Dickinson…. CAN NOT WAIT to start it.

And.

Mr Mike Gayle’s To-Do-List which I believe is non-fiction, but equally fabulous…all about how Mike made a list of all his outstanding Things To Do, and then started doing them…

Together with three titles from New Work that I really really must get on with…

The first being the second title from our new chicklitty author, Jane Costello The Nearly-Weds which promises to be superdooper.

Then we’ve got the return of Cannie Shapiro in the follow up to Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner. Again, v excited and salivating at the prospect…

And finally, the fourth from the lovely Debby Holt Love Affairs for Grown Ups which features a character called Cornelius Hedge. Really.

There are also proof copies of the new one’s from Collette Caddle – “Between the Sheets”, “Poor Little Bitch Girl” from Ms Collins, “The Sister Diaries” by Karen Quinn, “The Good Bride Guide” from Matt Dunn, Milly Johnson’s “A Spring Affair” and “Chasing Daisy” by Paige Toon, floating about that I wanna get my grubby little mitts on as well…

Oh decisions decisions!

2 February 2009

so, where were we?

oh yes, we've lost 1/2 stone since we last posted...so only another 5 1/2 to go...

we've done a hell of a lot of cleaning, tidying, laundry, blah blah...

we've had the mother of all headaches...

we've had laryngitis...

we've had a stinky shit cold...

we've had a cold sore the size of another head...

we've actually had to have a couple of days off sick...

we've celebrated Boo's 39th birthday with scallops and steak...

we've walked 3 hours in the snow to get absolutely no bloody closer to work than when we left home...

we've spent the day on the sofa...

18 January 2009

Birthday Joy

Yesterday The Girls celebrated the last birthday of 2008 with some lunch and extended drinking in Chiswick for Lady Beves special day.

When I say extended drinking - I mean we started at 2.30pm with lunch, and finished at 11.30pm with a complimentary bottle of champagne on the house at a bar which really should have known better and kicked us out about 3 hours earlier....oh the mess.

Anyway, a rather fabulous time was had by all. Here follows the most acceptable photos from the day. The less attractive drunken shots are definitely for-their-eyes-only...








8 January 2009

As expected we spent NYE on opposite ends of the sofa, in our jammys, having a raspberry beer and a rather fabulous roast dinner what I did cook, watching Howl’s Moving Castle (which was in all honesty my favourite Christmas TV) with a quick peck on the lips at 12 midnight. The fun just never starts in SGR. We did have an invite “Out” but quite frankly couldn’t be arsed. What a pair of stay-at-home miseries we’ve truly become. It’s brilliant.

First day back at work on the 2nd was bizarre. I felt like one of the few survivors of some hideous 24 Days Later zombie attack – the rest of West London obviously had the day off. I managed to get to my desk, turn on the PC, made a coffee and then sat there for the next 8 hours with a face on. Christ alive, you could actually see the tumble weed rolling down the corridor of doom that leads to the Big Wig end of the office. However, when I got home Boo had made all my bathroom dreams come true. We now have a shower tap. Yep, I can now wash my hair in clean, fresh running water. Oh the joy.


Then the weekend was a food fest of pure gluttony in preparation for the Beginning of the Diet which started first thing Monday morning. I feel like my stomach has actually eaten itself if truth be told, but we are four days in and 115 days to go till the wedding and I refuse to have more than one chin and one belly when I walk down the aisle.

Fitness guru Melly has sent me a link to a rather fabulous website called Spark which lets you monitor for absolutely free-no-money both your diet and exercise regime – with some rather handy widgets and fandangos thrown in for good measure. I’ve signed up, and can report that I’ve had 58g protein, 32g fat and 167g carbs today with 346 calories left in the kitty for my tea when I get home....

...which will be after a brand spanking new fitness class that me and Lorrie are going to try tonight. It’s in a wee sports centre/scout hut that looks to be stuck on the side of a church and infants school, so obviously we’ve got high hopes! But its cheap and local and neither of us have anything better to do tonight. I’ve done classes every night so far this week after work, and I’ll be buggered if I don’t get something in this evening!

Then tomorrow night The Mother and I will be taking in some culture at the Coliseum, with a touch of Manon in the company of the English National Ballet. It will be the first of many ballet excursions this year, and no doubt I will report back with a rave review in a bit.

The weekend holds a wealth of cleaning, ironing, tidying up and the like, which obviously I’m over-the-moon-delighted by, but I do have a proof of the new Mike Gayle, which was squirreled out of Hodder Towers by a kindly lady for me – which I’m gagging to get into, so perhaps whilst he’s on his Xbox360 I can hide away under the duvet. Bliss.