Fat Girl On The Run

I May Be Some Time

2011-03-10T20:02:00.002Z

Hello lovely Fat Girl on the Run Readers

As you might remember, I have been completely consumed over the past few months with this new project thingy at work I've been working on ....

And to be honest - I am still absolutely up to the very top of my eyeballs with it all. Don't get me wrong, I'm having the very best time of my life, but I am truly struggling to find the time to do anything here on Fat Girl.

So for the time being I'm going to sign off of the blog - but you can, if you so wish, find me over on the booksandthecity.co.uk website with my monthly column, on facebook as BookMinx Sjv and @bookminxsjv on twitter.

I've loved talking to you over the past few years, so thanks for listening.

Fat Girl, Over and Out.

Books and the City

2011-02-14T17:03:00.002Z

So, remember that thing I told you about, the secret project I was working on that was super hush hush... well, we launched today!

Do take a look, and let me know what you think.

What's not to like?

2011-02-08T09:20:00.003Z

Win 2 return flights to New York with Air France and 3 nights accommodation at the Hotel on Rivington including breakfast!

To celebrate the publication of Adriana Trigiani’s Encore Valentine, S&S are giving you (yes YOU!) the chance to win a trip to New York courtesy of Air France and Hotel on Rivington.

Go on, you know you want to....

And another thing...

2011-02-04T22:43:00.005Z

The lovely Jane Costello is looking for some readers to star in a promo video for her brand new book - Girl On The Run. If you’re interested, simply upload a video of yourself on YouTube answering the following questions:
1. What do you enjoy about her novels?
2. Which is your favourite Jane Costello book and why?
3. Who is your favourite Jane Costello character?
Then, email the link to jane@janecostello.com – those chosen to appear will receive a signed copy of the new book… and her eternal gratitude! x

2011-02-04T09:15:00.020Z

So, to celebrate Pay Day last week, I treated myself to a long overdue Book Buy and ordered 16 gorgeous glittery, flittery, embossed, spot UV’d PB’s. Box one was delivered on Wednesday…

Here are my jacket highlights:

The design and font of the authors name -

The embossed title -

The continuing branding -

The flitter on the snowflakes -

The raised gold embossing -

The illustration -

The (quite rare these days) photographic look -

Everything! -

Have started on the Harriet Evans - and as expected, am completely in love with it already.

In other news:

Have a look at a great video Adriana Trigiani has posted for us...Encore Valentine is out in time for Valentines Day (keep your eye on my blog, twitter and facebook pages for an exclusive competition coming soon...) Click Here

Talking of Valentines Day - who wouldn't want to receive a box of these instead of a crumby (see what I did there?) old bouquet?

And those lovely people from Penguin have launched a competition to win a t-shirt in celebration of the paperback launch of Marian Keyes latest book - The Brightest Star in the Sky...

What Have I Been Doing?

2011-01-25T12:18:00.002Z

I’ll tell you what I’ve been doing…

I did my civic duty (under duress I may add) and sat on Jury Service for the first time. Now, in the interest of my own private security I’m not going to reveal the case I was on on my second week – but suffice to say, the national press have reported on the case in great detail, and yes, the defendant was as guilty as a guilty person can be, wearing a guilty hat and coat, sitting in the guilty chair, drinking a cup of guilty coffee and reading a guilty book.

I finished that brilliant manuscript we are publishing late this year. The title hasn’t been decided as yet, but it’s an absolute joy, very romantic, very nostalgic, very heart-warming – and Ali Harris (the author) is going to be huge.
Me and Him were invited for a rather scrumptious lunch date with Bernie S (and her people) and Lou C (and hers)and I managed to rope both of them into doing the Shine midnight marathon walk with me… bless 'em. Please sponsor me at the Just Giving site, if you can spare a few quid, and think about all three of us come October this year, eating cakes and drinking cocktails whilst tottering around the O2!

I took The Mother to see the Matthew Bourne version of Cinderella again, and as ever, he didn’t disappoint. It’s a slightly different version to the one I first saw in 1997 (ish), but it was great, as are all the Adventures.

And finally, The Girls had a great night at Paramount to celebrate Mel's birthday. £330 bar bill worth of great night. Ah, the Roseberry Fizz champagne cocktails. Much better on the way down than the way up, according to Lorrie!

New Year, New Stuff, Same Stuff

2011-01-07T20:00:00.004Z

So. Christmas came and went in a puff of pj's, snacks and sofa action.... in fact, I think the very most action that took place in the Virtue household was the day we turned on the Wii, played a round of Sword Fighting (for the record, I beat him... again) and turned it off again to resume the slumped position.

I think I watched enough Poirot, Marple, Midsummer's and Columbo to last a lifetime - and I never thought that day would come.

Santa was very generous - bringing a host of gorgeous things like a weekend away, (more) Asics trainers, a Cath Kidston purse, Tiffany earrings, a new leather bag, electric toothbrush, the very softest slippers you've ever felt in your whole life and a lovely wedge of cash, and the Christmas meal with three meats and more trimmings than was entirely necessary went off without a hitch - despite forgetting the red cabbage till teatime!

And now it's back to work, back to tube delays and price hikes, rain, increased VAT, bills and the longest time till pay day.

But there is new stuff too. There's this thing at work. All a bit hush hush really till Valentine's Day... but it's kind of mine. My idea, my project, my passion. So I've got to learn some Twitter stuff, and have a Facebook fan page, and help design a microsite, and start writing some articles - and then I'll be leading it, and developing it - and running wild and free, and I'm so excited I'm fit to bursting. So if you are a tweeter (or whatever it is) I'm at @bookminxsjv - so please follow me, or whatever it is. Thanks.

I’m very late to the One Day party. But am so glad I came.

2010-12-20T14:32:00.001Z

Going off-genre is always a risky business for me. My default setting screams “NO!” whenever someone tries to get me to read something that doesn’t have a sparkly pink cover and doesn’t fall neatly into a chick lit theme. But some very persuasive colleagues and chums, who’s opinions I trust immensely, told me One Day would leave me breathless, and quite frankly, they weren’t far wrong.

Obviously it’s a beautiful love story. Em and Dex were bought completely to life, and the impending sense of doom cranked up with just enough sensitivity that even though I know I was being played, I loved every minute of it. I’m delighted that Dex remained a selfish twat even in grief and even though I take issue with a few flaws in Em, I could completely see why she loved him to the bitterest of ends.

However, and here’s my thing. One Day is actually completely on-genre. Just cause it’s written by a man, and just cause it doesn’t have a pink cover, it completely centres around a couple, in love, and the obstacles stopping them being together. It's brilliantly written and all that, but I wonder, in a cynical raised eyebrow way, whether if it had had a pink cover, and been written by a women, the great and the good of the book critic world would have heaped just as much praise on it.

The Best of Times, the Worst of Times

2010-12-09T09:54:00.001Z

It's been an interesting year. When I say interesting…

I turned 40. I had The Shoulder. The circle became a square. I had to adjust to the loss of Group Sales Director, UK Sales Director, and Special Sales Manager. And I've had to adjust to the new Big Cheese, the new Medium Cheese and the new Mini Cheddar. We had the Car Accident. I fell off the non-smoking wagon. I’ve now got The Eye.

Sometimes, it does feel like a very steep uphill struggle…

Go to the pub

2010-11-30T11:49:00.000Z

I’ve never been a fan of cider. It’s just a bit too student for me.

However, I have been converted having supped on a dimpled tankard (or two) of Rekorderlig Winter Cider at the weekend. Yummy.

Buy and Listen... Listen and Buy

2010-11-05T14:45:00.003Z

If you haven’t already taken yourself off to the shops and bought your copy of Why DO We Have to Live With Men? then quite frankly, you’re dead to me.

However, if you won’t take my word for it (that it’s brilliant, and funny, and a MUST HAVE read) – why not have a quick listen to Bernie on the radio and you will hear for yourself why I love her.

2010-10-22T16:11:00.002+01:00

And the winners of the Bundles give away are… Vita in Whitchurch, Helen in Bideford, Karen in Luton, Chris in Battersea, Tracey in Swansea, Beverley in Ilkeston, Suzanne in Leek, Pamela in Ryde and Caroline in North Waltham. The next lot of rules are even simpler than the last ones... Receive. Read. Review.

The Beach Hut

2010-10-13T12:51:00.002+01:00

My only criticism of The Beach Hut is that, given my rather goldfish like brain these days, I thought there were perhaps just one or two too many characters to keep track of. Now, I know that each character was absolutely beautifully written, lots of back story, well rounded, you know, everything you want from your main players – but – I did kind of struggle to keep on top of it. Other than that – it's gorgeous. You really feel a nostalgic sense of the Great British Seaside, sandcastles, Fab lollies, almost but not quite, ginger beer and cucumber sandwiches. But the story has much more. Teenage angst. Unrequited love. A funeral. Infidelity. A wedding. Adoption. Redundancy. You’ve got everything you could ever want in there. Some happy endings, some rather sad endings, some hopeful endings, and actually - a few stories that didn't have a full stop at the end of them at all, which I found quite intriguing. I’ve loved Veronica since Love on the Rocks back in 2006, but I think I might have missed Just a Family Affair and Marriage and Other Games in a haze of other books on my reading list…so will be updating my amazon wish list immediately.

Bundles!

2010-10-08T13:32:00.005+01:00

We are having a clear out.

As such I have a box full to bursting point of gorgeous new books that I'm going to bundle up together and offer out. To you.

Each bundle (of which there are 7) will have a hardback Jackie Collins and then a couple of paperbacks... you might get a Colette Caddle, Milly Johnson and Jennifer Weiner. It might be an Adriana Trigiani, Paige Toon and Jane Costello...it's that random, even I don't know yet.

And if your name (or the name of a close friend who's deserves a personally signed copy of a book) is Diane, then you (or they) are in for a rather marvellous treat!

So, what do you have to do?

Not much actually, just pop an email to comps@simonandschuster.co.uk with the words FAT GIRL ON THE RUN BUNDLES in the header. The seven winners will be chosen at random from all entries, competition open to UK residents only please. You have till noon Friday 22nd October to enter. Go on, treat yourself.

Things Wot I like....Part 2.

2010-10-07T08:44:00.003+01:00

The new No 7 nail varnish in Beanie.

The new competition running on the Simon & Schuster website to win a Project D frock to celebrate the launch of Dannii.

The rather marvellous cupcakes Crumbs & Doilies did for me to celebrate Jennifer Weiner.

The crisp, cold, bright and sunny morning.

Things Wot I Like...Part 1.

2010-10-06T19:02:00.003+01:00

Card Factory. Oh Shut Up! I know, I know, it's chav city, but in today's fiscally turbulent times, who can argue with 7 pretty decent greetings cards for £1. That barely covers a Happy Meal these days, so what's not to like?

M&S Iced Spiced buns. You can either buy a single bun. Or a pack of two - one for now, one for later. Guess which pack I buy? Go on, guess!

The Book of Tomorrow by Cecelia Ahern. A beautiful finish on the paperback, and a continuation of the Team Ahern branding makes for a great package. Another magical, slightly bizarre story - after spoilt and stroppy Tamara Goodwin discovers her father dead on the floor on his study, her life falls apart. Forced to move from her huge fancy mansion to her aunt and uncle's gatehouse cottage in the country things start getting weirder and weirder when... actually, no, I'm going to leave it there. It's all rather strange, but ultimately rather fabulous, so grab a copy from Amazon today, on special offer at £3.99. Bargain.

The new series of The Apprentice, tonight 9pm on BBC1. Can. Not. Wait. To. Ridicule.

2010-09-17T09:29:00.001+01:00

After just one too many bottles of champagne than is wise on a school night, I discovered that behind my back and without my knowledge, Bernie has relaunched her website and has been blogging away, la la la, on a regular basis.

My life is more complete. She's just so damn funny. Happy reading, happy Friday.

It's been a long time...

2010-09-11T18:13:00.004+01:00

...since I last posted.

We'd booked a week off work cause we were knackered! We were going to do a bit of this and a bit of that. Some day's out, some Wii, some sitting on the sofa watching rubbish on the box. And to cut a long story short - day two into the week, some complete twat drove into the back of us, resulting in some excruciating whiplash and our car being written off.

Suffice to say, the mood in the Virtue household was somewhat sombre and stiff for the rest of the holiday - and has only marginally improved now to be honest!

But then today I took myself off to a wee school in Pinner to help out at a charity fun day by selling one or two books.

I took along the worlds favourite pig - Olivia - for a hug and a story, the rather suave Lamb double act opened the fair, and a jolly time was had by all. Look.

Bad Winners

2010-08-24T13:31:00.002+01:00

And the winners of the recent Bad Girls giveaway are....(drum roll)....

Nicky from Exeter
Kath from Hull
Sophie from Southwick
Susan from Brightwell
Jen from Bidborough
Bella from Swindon
Natalie from Chester
Suzanne from Leek
Laura from London
and Donna from Edinburgh

Your shiny books will be in the post in time for you to enjoy over the wet and windy Bank Holiday weekend. Don't forget to post a review on every possible web site going, Twitter it, Facebook it, and if you blog, blog it!!

More giveaways and comps coming soon...

2010-08-24T09:13:00.000+01:00

To all you sniffers and sneezers, coughers and splutterers. You ear diggers and nose pickers, groin huggers and armpit scratchers. All you eye rubbers and spot squeezers. You nail bitters and hair pullers. All you fidgetters and elbow rammers. For the love of God. STOP DOING IT IN PUBLIC. WE CAN SEE YOU.

The Transworld Summer Reading Challenge

2010-08-23T16:55:00.002+01:00

OK, OK, so Summer might be well and truly over, but I've just signed up to take part in this bad boy which looks like a work of pure marketing genius!

I think I've got a month left to read and review four books from the list, so I'm going for:

2. Matters of the Heart by Danielle Steel
6. Forbidden Pleasures by Jo Rees
12. After You by Julie Buxbaum
14. The Wish by Sasha Blake

Wish me speedy reading skills like I've never had before!

2010-08-21T15:32:00.003+01:00

As ever, I’m late to the party that is Lost Dogs and Lonely Hearts , winner of the Romantic Novel of the Year award 2010. Published by Hodder back in 2009, it’s been sitting on my shelf, waiting to be picked up, looking almost as sad and lonely as the poor old abandoned mutts that feature heavily in the story itself.

I’m not a huge dog fan, nor have ever had an overwhelming desire to have kids, and both subjects feature heavily in the book, but that’s not to say I felt detached in any way, as its incredibly touching and sad. An overwhelmingly heartwarming story, I can completely see how it won this year – and will be looking out for the new book by Lucy Dillon this Christmas; Walking Back to Happiness (great title!).

Oooh, and the package is beautiful. There is a touch of the Harriet Evans about it. Just enough sparkle, not too girly for an old bird like me.

Grangewood School Family Fun Day

2010-08-19T11:51:00.003+01:00

On Saturday September 11th I will be helping out at the Grangewood School Family Fun Day – I hear talk of face painting, bouncy castles, arts & crafts, mini farms, rides, games, a plethora of food and drink and a Soccer School… and I’ll be manning a book sale stall!

I’m also pleased to report that star of TV and books, the wonderful Olivia will also be making an appearance. There will be a story corner reading by yours truly, some goody bags with books, finger puppets and activity sheets and the opportunity to hug and hold the most gorgeous weird pig lady character going.

The Fun Day is being organised by the Kai Phillips Trust to raise money for Grangewood School in Pinner, and is being held at Coteford School (which shares its grounds with Grangewood) from 12noon – 4pm. Grangewood School is trying to raise funds to build an adventure playground in the woodland area of the school, and all money raised at the Fun Day will go directly towards the project.

Come, donate, sponsor…. hear me read, buy some books, hug Olivia.

2010-08-14T12:28:00.002+01:00

The Mother and I took ourselves off to Borough Market yesterday afternoon to gorge ourselves on some rather splendid French cheese; and then a bumper evening of leg flicking and swarthy dudes at Sadlers Wells new show Tanguera which is kind of like an extended hour and a half Strictly Come Dancing - without dodgery old Brucie. Watch a clip here and then tell me you don't wish you could do that!

Chris Dagley - 23rd June 1971-28th July 2010

2010-08-09T21:05:00.003+01:00

My Uncle B sent me some post which arrived today. It contained a note, and a couple of local newspaper clippings, relating to the tragic recent death of Chris Dagley, a drummer who Uncle B, my Dad and I used to watch and listen to many years ago when he played with NYJO.

Chris was an amazing musician, with a rare talent - a grin that could light up a room and passion for jazz that completely blew my mind.

I spend many happy Sundays with a bag of nuts and a diet coke at Ruislip Jazz Club, with Dad on one side, nodding his head and tapping his feet and Uncle B on the other supping a beer and reading the papers listening to the belting solo's performed by Chris and a flutist called Lisa, who used to break my heart with her rendition of Somewhere...

I didn't know Chris personally, but my thoughts are with his friends and family.

Here is a quick link to a Chris solo ...enjoy.

Loads of good sex AND a fairytale happy ending!

2010-08-09T12:09:00.002+01:00

Bad Girls is quite literally fabulous. Lots of sex scenes (none that make you cringe), lots of fab stereotypical "straight outta the pages of Heat magazine" characters that cross all the boxes (a lap dancer, an A list hollywood hunk, a fading supermodel and a generic wanna be IT girl, famous for nothing more than weird style and falling out of taxi's and into clubs)and a surprisingly touching fairytale (of sorts) ending for all involved. Rebecca Chance has written a sizzling story here - and if you haven't already had your Summer holiday, grab yourself a copy of this rather glossy Clit Lit and indulge your inner trash.

Bad Girls Giveaway

2010-08-03T13:08:00.007+01:00

Those lovely people at New Work have offered readers of Fat Girl on the Run not one, not two, but five brand spanking new copies of Bad Girls, the follow up to Diva’s from Rebecca Chance, for a mini giveaway.

No multiple choice, no answers on a postcard required. Just pop an email to comps@simonandschuster.co.uk. Winners will be chosen at random from all entries, competition open to UK residents only please. You have till noon Friday 13th August to enter. Go on, you know you want to.

Why not have a little click here to see Rebecca Chance sip a cocktail and chit chat about the book. And yes, she is that fabulous in real life too.

2010-07-30T12:59:00.001+01:00

This weekend I will mostly be reading… Bad Girls , the follow up to Diva’s from Rebecca Chance; and Fly Away Home , the latest title from bestselling author of In Her Shoes - Jennifer Weiner and Always on My Mind , a sneaky little Irish export only edition of the much anticipated next novel from Colette Caddle.

a hopeless romantic

2010-07-28T20:16:00.001+01:00

I’ve been re-reading A Hopeless Romantic over the past couple of weeks and have found the love again.

Firstly, what a gorgeous brand look Harriet Evans has. Her covers are just beautiful, with the right amount of sparkle and fluff, but not too young, too girly, too frivolous.

Secondly, what a hefty old tome this is. Many many pages, maybe one or two that could have been left out, but what cracking value for money.

Thirdly, what great story, fabulous characters, happy ending. Perfect.

Reading Group Questions

2010-07-06T18:36:00.009+01:00

appear on the last pages of Other People's Secrets, and I was so dismayed to find myself at the end of the story, that I read through them in the hope that there might be a further hidden chapter lurking somewhere within.

I'm not really that well versed in proper grown up books. I'm at that weird limbo stage in my reading life, when the traditional love-of-my-life-chick-lit written by and for those under 30, is not keeping my interest, and I don't quite know where to turn.

I'm not so familiar with the more tradition women's fiction. I've tentatively done The Lovely Bones, some Maggie O'Farrell and The Time Traveler's Wife. But I don't Jodi Picoult; I don't feel quite old enough for Lesley Pearse or Nora Roberts. I'm not and never will be a Twilight fan and I don't really want to go down the Stieg Larsson bandwagon. I know I should read The Kite Runner, The Book Thief and The Shadow of the Wind but I know I never will; I really want to try The Slap by Christos Tsiolkas and I fancy giving Dear John by Nicholas Sparks a go - but I know I won't.

So when I finished reading Other People's Secrets, which I did this afternoon whilst waiting for a man in a white coat and rubber gloves to stick a needle deep into my shoulder and waggle it about again - I felt a little shaken.

Louise has, of course, written grown up books before. Since I Don't Have You told of a women coming to terms with life after the loss of her daughter in a road accident, and The Second Husband concentrated on loss of a different type, when a women's lover runs off with her own daughter. But Other People's Secrets is a million miles removed from The Double Life of Anna Day - the book she wrote that had me begging her publisher for a meet and greet.

Two families meet on holiday in the Italian Lakes and whilst the book is set over just two weeks, you feel completely engaged in their lives - the before, the during and the hope for the after. Bea and her husband Marty together with their children Pippi, Esther and Dom invite Ginny and Adam Trustlove into their idyllic holiday rental; and it's with the arrival of mysterious stranger Zach that the threads of their lives start to unravel before us. There is a relationship twist that I genuinely didn't see coming - but that's not why I was engrossed. There is a pace and a picture that Louise has created here that I don't think I've ever experienced before. We, the reader, are truly taken on the holiday as well. The town, the island, the villa, the lake, the gardens... the waterside path. Not only can I picture in my minds eye the whole cast (bar Esther who I don't feel I know as well as the others perhaps) I can smell the grass after the storm, I can hear the lap of the water against the boat, I can feel the heat of Zach's hotel room overlooking the square.

I'm not going to say it's funny, because it isn't. There is some sex, but it's the passion that grips you. There is some glamour and some fashion - but it's really an aside. What I found here, was a beautiful story about love and loss, about friendships and marriage, as complex as it was simple. And I loved it.

So where to now. There is hope of course - with the new Jane Green (The Love Verb) and Katie Fforde (A Perfect Proposal), and I Think I Love You by Allison Pearson and Men I've Loved Before by Adele Parks that I'm going to give a go.

But after that, what lies ahead for me.... I don't feel I can move back now, back to cocktails and crushes. To dating and trivia. I need substance.

My Day Just Got A Whole Heap Better

2010-07-02T12:28:00.001+01:00

Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah. Guess what I’ve just got in the post?!!

Only an early copy of Other People’s Secrets!

Oh yes I have.

And, no, you can’t have it!

Help the Aged

2010-07-01T09:23:00.002+01:00

I fear I have got old. Too old for chick lit. It’s a fucking worry. All things cocktails and crushes are not holding my attention anywhere near as much as they once did.

This is what happened. I temporarily halted my reading of the new book by Paige Toon Pictures of Lily as I was lucky enough to get sent a shiny new proof of WDWHTLWM by my chum Bernie and ravaged it like a hungry beast.

So I’ve just this week picked PoL back up again and have reached a crucial stage, as Lily has just bumped into the object of her teenage lust after 10 years apart…

This is Paige’s fourth book, and I have really enjoyed her previous three ( Lucy in the Sky, Johnny Be Good, and Chasing Daisy )… But. I think I need some more death, or middle aged heartache, or divorce, or infidelity, or motherhood, or old people care, or redundancy, or wrinkles and Tena Lady – just something that relates more to my life now, not my life 20 years ago… Don’t get me wrong Paige. I know it’s ME not YOU that’s changed… the issues that resonated with me in my teens and early twenties just don’t cut the mustard anymore. And that realisation has given me the blue's let me tell you.

Other People's Secrets

2010-06-30T16:29:00.002+01:00

To celebrate the launch of the new book by the lovely Louise Candlish next week Thursday, her fabulous publisher has joined up with Kuoni for a rather super competition to win a luxury 5 night holiday in the Italian Lakes.

I’ve yet to get my filthy little mitts on the book, so can’t tell you any more than the synopsis on their website. Ginny and Adam Trustlove arrive on holiday in Italy torn apart by personal tragedy. Two weeks in a boathouse on the edge of peaceful Lake Orta is exactly what they need to restore their faith in life - and each other. Twenty-four hours later, the silence is broken. The Sale family have arrived at the main villa: wealthy, high-flying Marty, his beautiful wife Bea, and their privileged, confident offspring. It doesn't take long for Ginny and Adam to be drawn in, especially when the teenage Pippi introduces a new friend into the circle. For there is something about Zach that has everyone instantly beguiled, something that loosens old secrets - and creates shocking new ones. And, yet, not one of them suspects that his arrival in their lives might be anything other than accidental...

I hear talk also of a thing at Sandhurst Library on Thurs 8 July at 7.30pm that Louise is doing together with another bestselling Sphere author – Dorothy Koomson – where they will be talking about their books, taking a Q&A and signing their latest books – so bag yourself a couple of tickets, quick pronto!

That Was The Week That Was

2010-06-18T20:36:00.017+01:00

When we last spoke, I was gearing up for a varied but rather lackluster weekend... and yes; the housework, the shopping, the exercise and the football all featured.

I didn't manage to get to grips with Why Do We Have to Live With Men unfortunately, cause I was still midway through the new title coming from Paige Toon - Pictures of Lily - but that situation has now been successfully resolved; and what a fantastic treat you all have in store come the end of October on pub date.

Page 1 had me snorting diet coke out of my nose, and whilst I'm only 80 pages in, I really do think this book may be the best Bernie Strachan since the brilliant Reluctant Landlady, her debut, and a book that always features in my Top Ten. Many authors in our genre are marketed as being brilliantly funny, and sassy and warm and witty and all that; but in truth, very few are genuinely that funny - you know - actual laugh out loud, wanna share the joke with your mates, titter on the tube funny. But, Bernie just is, simple. This new book tells the story of a group of mates who, like me and my mates, spend their drunken nights together slagging off the total shitty-ness of the men they have at home; their sloppy ways, their lack of responsibility when it comes to anything involving cooking, or cleaning, or other so called women's work duties; and promise that one day they will sod off and live together where no-one leaves wet towels on the floor, no-one leaves washing up in the sink for a week, and no-one leaves empty milk bottles in the fridge.

As I say, I'm only 80 pages in, but so far every page has made me laugh, the irony, the sarcasm, the spot on characterisation.... so, pre-order your copy now, or maybe, just maybe, you might miss out on the best book of the year.

So. On to other things.

I turned 40 on Tuesday. Yep. That was 40. And quite frankly I have very little else to say on the matter. Other than I was treated to vanilla biscuits, a cherry conserve Victoria Sponge, Lavender Iced Cupcakes and a Moist Chocolate Cake on the day; so Old Age maybe isn't too bad.

And Boo took me back to the newly refurbished Inn on the Green, or should I say, All Bar One looking Sanctum on the Green for a romantic meal. Highlights of the evening included the hand cut chips that were supposed to be served with my Dorset Crab Cakes arriving at the table after my dinner plate had been taken away; the waiter declaring he had "never eaten here" when asked what dessert he would recommend; and the duty manager forgetting to bring our bread basket despite three reminders...

And the new decor! Oh my. Very swanky. Or was that wanky? Who would bulldozer a Old English Country Lavender garden to make room for a ridiculous black slate swimming pool just a smidge bigger than my childhood paddling pool? Who would replace a dim and divine parlour with squishy, soft, red velvet armchairs and sofas for... well.... actually nothing. The whole front bar area has been knocked down and out to make room for 8 more restaurant tables. Why knock out the gorgeous old Lamp Room and replace it with a couple of uncomfortable and ridiculous upright chairs and the kind of lighting found in a hospital operating theatre? Why knock out some sort of English Heritage walls, dating back to the beginning of time or something, and replace with mirrors. Mirrors in Cookham Dene? I ask you! Oh I could go on. But I won't. We held hands over the newly varnished wooden tables and thanked our lucky stars that we got married there last year when it was a beautiful boutique restaurant with rooms, and vowed never to return...

Decisons Decisions

2010-06-11T12:46:00.003+01:00

HELP! I am in a quandary. A flap. A pickle if you will. This weekend we have the following:

1. Housework (laundry, ironing, dusting, changing the bed, things to do with floors, things to do with scrubbing bathrooms and kitchens till small children could eat off every surface should they choose to)

2. Shopping (food and household bits and bobs - not I hasten to point out for shoes, gems, bags, or cupcakes)

3. Exercise (11am Body Zone. Yep)

4. Football (have Switzerland in the sweepstake. Yes, that was SWITZERLAND)

5. Or, fuck all that off, and tuck into a proof copy of the exciting new book by my mate Bernie coming to a book shop near you in October this year.

That’s that decision easily made then.

Summer Reading here we come!!!

Crime does pay

2010-06-11T12:28:00.003+01:00

To celebrate the launch of Lynda La Plante’s (she of Prime Suspect and Above Suspicion fame) latest book, (in B format PB for the first time don't you know) New Work are offering the most awesome prize via the web site.

Let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to win a day on set of a Lynda La Plante drama?

Who knew...

2010-06-06T20:33:00.005+01:00

...Ghent was so gorgeous. Especially on a hot and sunny long weekend. Look.

Am too old...

2010-05-30T20:57:00.004+01:00

for this level of activity.

Wednesday night I was treated to my new hair hat by my lovely Girls for my birthday. The husband of the uber-stylish-even-in-pregnancy Mrs Darling, is an amazing hair dresser - and I went for a proper big old chop, loosing 20 inches and gaining the kind of access to the back of my neck I haven't had in over 10 years. Totally liberating and totally fabulous.

Thursday night I went to Union Club with my always-good-value-for-money author friends for more gin than is wise on a school night. And the hangover started before we'd even ordered that last round....

Friday we had cupcakes and chitter chatter in the office with the adorable and hysterical Adriana. With gossip from the previous nights SATC 2 red carpet, and updates on the super new Valentine stories, it was my most favourite way to spend a couple of hours at 2Two2.

Friday night we splashed out on 6 seats in the Scene section of the newly opened Vue cinema in Westfield for THE movie event of the year. And despite all the shitty reviews from the shriveled old crone critics who just don't GET the phenomenon that is SATC, I enjoyed every last second of it. There were laughs a plenty, fashion overload, girl talk, bonding, love and friendship - exactly what SATC is all about, and if you don't get it, just fuck off, don't watch it, and don't try and ruin it for those of us that do.

Yesterday was then another early start for my Birthday Lunch Club with The Girls. The secrecy wrapped around this day was a shocker with all manner of red herrings and half truths floating about to throw me off the scent. We started off with croissants and frappacino at Victoria station, a fast train to the beautiful seaside town of Whitstable in Kent - complete with a pass the parcel, for a mooch and meander around the twee boutiques and galleries, and the most amazing lunch at Whitstable Oyster Fishery Co on the seafront. Over 10 years ago an ex introduced me to both the town and the restaurant, and I've banged on about the most perfectly simple meal of grilled mackerel and apple sauce time and time again - and 10 years on it's still as fantastic as it was all those years ago. I was also treated to a platter of the famous Whistable Oysters, a never ending flow of rose prosecco....and even a party bag!

There is nothing better than quaffing champagne on a train coming home, picking up nibbles and munchies, and retiring to Lorrie's for a marathon SATC and Britain's Got Talent TV night, the perfect end to a perfect day. Thanks Girls - you all did me proud!

Then today, with a hangover from hell and exhausted from all the hoopla, I dusted, and tidied, and changed the bed, and cleaned the kitchen, and then we opened the paint - and started redecorating the bathroom. We are a few coats away from finishing, but it's looking clean, fresh and bright - and even in my weary state I'm glad we did it today - cause that means tomorrow he might let me lie in!

2010-05-26T11:11:00.003+01:00

Big Tom, ex-FD of The Big W turned me on to Adriana Trigiani, after recommending either Lucia, Lucia or Rococo (my memory fails me) one fag break 6 years ago – and over the years I’ve gobbled up the backlist, including the fabulous Big Stone Gap series…

Adriana has romance cursing through her veins. She is a natural storyteller, and weaves passion and humour magically together to create the kind of women's fiction that should hit the top of the charts time after time.

Her new trilogy began with Very Valentine which New Work published in May last year, introducing us to a fabulous new Italian American character Valentine Roncalli, and her family business – the Angelini Shoe Company.

I really enjoyed it and so did the press!

'Charming, charismatic and addictive, this tale of love, life and shoes is an absolute treat' Company
'A gorgeous piece of escapism … with plenty of the warm, earthy humour that is this author's calling-card' The Times
'This hymn to Italian New York is a treat' Elle
'Charming … Romance, families, careers and relationships are all intertwined in this captivating adventure' Closer
'A funny, heart-warming tale of a woman looking for love, family harmony and the perfect shoe' Heat

I read the next in the series, Encore Valentine on Sunday.

Oh what hopeless romantics Adriana and Valentine are... but how refreshing to read a story that makes no excuses for wanting to believe in, and in fact, revelling in the power of love - even Old Gram Teodora gets married at 80!

Am really excited that Adriana is making another trip to S&S Towers @ Two2Two on Friday for a picnic (following her attendance at the SATC 2 premier on Thursday night - Michael Patrick King is her lodger!!) - hopefully some of her belief can rub off on this cold hard cynic!

2010-05-24T16:38:00.001+01:00

Summer Reading has begun – finally - and I read After The Party on Saturday, sat on my stoop, in the sun; me and my shoulder.

Reading anything (shopping list, doodles, random to-do notes) by Lisa would be a dream. She is an awesome writer, creates characters you care about, and writes the kind of things that happen to normal people… perfect.

In After the Party Lisa has bought back Jem and Ralph – who have been together 11 years now, have two kids and a house- but are loosing that special something that made them so right together. In a twist I don’t think I’ve ever read before in a “chick lit” title, Ralph finds a way to move forwards, but Jem is stuck where many mothers I know have found themselves – between the man they love and the life they miss before the world of responsibility fell cleanly on their shoulders.

With just enough unexpected twists and turns to ramp up the eager page turning, After the Party hits all the right notes with love, longing, lust and life and just the right ending to not make you feel like a complete wimp when you find yourself in tears.

Put Your Hands Up

2010-05-22T23:51:00.002+01:00

If you know me from facebook – you will know of The Shoulder. You will know that I finally got a diagnosis for the agonising pain that has been haunting me for over a year – involving the words inflamed fluid sac, three ruptured tendons, calcium build up, trapped nerve and the need for a bone shaving operation.

You will also know that I had a cortisone injection on Wednesday. A procedure that involved a double dose of anaesthetic, followed by 40 minutes of what can only be described as “jiggling” of a needle the size of a bic biro pen deep within the calcium to dislodge it, finished off with the actual pain relief injection into those tendons…

You will know of the tears, the nervous laughing, the nausea and of course, the following 48 hours of a whole new world of pain.

But, what you might not know is that today, for the first day in give or take 18 months I am pain free. I don’t feel like I have a ten ton weight hanging off my arm. I don’t feel a constant nagging aching deep bone pain that affects how I move, how I feel, how I sleep. Or not as the case has been for some time.

You will also not know that I can now, tentatively and with a slight wince, raise my arm to the side and rotate my shoulder to point to the sky. I’m not swinging from the chandeliers; I’m not reaching for things off the top shelf. And I still can’t do up my own bra, but fuck me sideways this feels good. I am looking forward to going to bed and being able to pick my position to sleep based on nothing more than whim. Not because to sleep on my right side does something weird and compressing to the fluid sac that makes me cry after about 4 seconds. Not because to sleep on my back, hoists the shoulder up to my ears, which tugs at the ruptured tendons and makes me cry after about 7 seconds. And to sleep on my left makes my shoulder droop down and back, and literally makes the calcium grate on the bone and makes me cry after about 11 seconds….

I might just sleep on my front just for the sheer hell of it...

Look What They've Done

2010-05-21T11:52:00.003+01:00

Have just noticed, that the beautiful Inn on the Green, that he and I got married in last May has undergone a bit of a refurb - and has turned into Sanctum on the Green - equally beautiful, but now also, very very fancy pants....Maybe if I'm a good girl, He will take me for tea and a romp one night...

In a New York state of mind....

2010-05-11T09:59:00.007+01:00

To celebrate our very first wedding anniversary, we took ourselves off to NY for a week....what an amazing place - so very tall, so very busy, so very fabulous, so many trainers and cupcakes to buy!!

I took one or two (ok 347) snaps.

Here are a few of my favourites.

(This is the actual view from our bed!)

I could get into this shopping malarky!

2010-04-16T17:41:00.002+01:00

Remember my wee shopping spree? Well, I finished purchase number four this morning on the way to work. Gutted that even with a couple of manuscripts chucked in for good measure, I've still finished all four in just over a couple of months.

Cecelia Ahern's The Gift is not quite what you would expect from the lady that bought us PS I Love You, but totally in keeping with If You Could See Me Now and A Place Called Here. Kind of supernatural it tells the heartbreaking story of city slicker Lou and his strive for success at work to the detriment of his personal life. Running here and there, always short of time, always in a hurry he lets everyone down, his wife, his kids, his dad - but when he meets homeless man Gabe, things take a turn. We aren't supposed to like Lou, we aren't supposed to feel any sympathy for his plight, but as he realises the error of his ways you cant help but warm to him. A brilliant story, as ever, I was left with a fair few tears at the end - and will be lending my copy out to a few of my career driven friends asap...

So, next up on the shopping list is the new one from Bernie coming in October, that I'm about to hit the pre-order button for on Amazon, the beautiful new Louise Candlish coming in July (just look at the lovely new branding!) that I already have on pre-order from Amazon, and the brilliant follow up to Ralph's Party by Lisa Jewell... that I'm going to buy from an actual high street retailer tomorrow...

I have new shelves...

2010-04-10T15:17:00.005+01:00

He who must now be obeyed for ever more, only went and built me another shelf... I obviously, still have more books than I have space for - but, at least I can now arrange gorgeous new piles of the my most favourite books... oh the joy... better, almost, than buns.

The Circle of Trust's Big Night Out

2010-04-07T20:44:00.004+01:00

Last Thursday, just before the whole "eating my own body weight in chocolate eggs whilst wearing PJ's" weekend fest began, The Circle of Trust went out to celebrate GemGem's new job/drink till we fell over... we even treated ourselves to an overnight stay at the Hilton off Upper Street. Get us.

Sick and Wrong? Or bloody fabulous?!

2010-03-31T14:43:00.003+01:00

Remember my mentioning a recent penchant for aprons whilst baking? Well.... have a blinking look at this bad boy.

Now, that is the kind of baking apparel I can get on board with. In fact, the whole damn selection is mighty fine. Good old Anthropologie.

Twenties Girl

2010-03-22T15:54:00.002Z

Like The Undomestic Goddess, Can You Keep a Secret? and Remember Me?, Twenties Girl is not a Sophie Kinsella Shopaholic title...it tells the story of Lara and her great-aunt Sadie Lancaster and the search for a missing dragonfly necklace.

It's a completely daft story till about page 341 - and I wasn't all together sure whether I would ever really care enough, but then it all hots up, and things fall into place, and character become real, and emotions so raw - that by the time the big reveal plays out on page 391 I had my heart in my throat and a tear down my cheek pretty much till the end.

It's not my favourite ever Kinsella book, but keep going and you too will be thinking of your old relatives in a whole new light.

Lovely Lille

2010-03-21T20:30:00.003Z

To celebrate The Mother’s 67th birthday, The Sister and I booked a good old Eurotart trip this weekend and stayed here at The Hermitage Gantois Hotel in Lille which must be the grandest place I’ve ever spent a night…

Built around 1460, the beautifully renovated building was once a Hospice, and original features abound. One of the four original courtyards has been turned inside out to form the most amazing glass roofed bar with more pale blue leather sofa’s than I have ever seen in one place before – and the 67 bedrooms (some of which were the former nun’s cells and still bear their saintly names!) are all individually designed with Philippe Starck chairs and Louis XV oak panelling….

Lille itself is the little known home of pasteurisation and Charles de Gaulle with lovely cobbled streets and squares that can easily be investigated in one day – with some gorgeous architecture nestled in between the usual commercial buildings and council estates that most European city centres seem to offer.

Dizzy

2010-03-17T16:01:00.000Z

There are models in the office. Yes models. Not hand models. Not character models. Not fetish models. Bona fide beautiful, fit, tall, gorgeous ladies and gentleman parading around the corridors of doom leading down to MR1 – normally reserved for the very dullest of long meetings, today, the location for topless Polaroid shots of the most pristine flesh you have ever seen…

There are herds I tell you. Herds of them in and out, in and out. An open casting for a running book we are doing later in the year has resulted in 2Two2 becoming like something HBO would screen – and I would pay money to see.

If you happen to be up the big smoke, and in need of a perv over some fine young men, get yourself to my office. It’s continuing for the next few hours. HOURS!! My blood pressure is already through the roof, how the fuck am I supposed to concentrate on margin spreadsheets with all this low slung jean and ripped chest business going on around me….

Oh, what a lovely day.

Tonic

2010-03-08T21:22:00.004Z

I swear, this Birthday Lunch Club is a fail safe method to lighten the load...long live my female islands of sanity in a sea of bullshit.

Happy Birthday Lorrie, you beautiful thing you...

2010-03-08T11:00:00.002Z

Back in October 2006 I spent a lovely few hours drinking tea and eating cake with Lisa Jewell. I had long been a fan – since reading Ralph’s Party (her debut) seven years earlier, so was over-the-moon-delighted that as part of my job at The Big W I got to interview her for the Chick Lit Reading Group project. Ah, happy days....

Friday morning I finished her latest book (I know, I know, I’m very late to the party…) The Truth About Melody Browne, and OH MY GOD. Nothing girly about it. Nothing chicklitty about it. Nothing cheesy or pink or girl-meets-boy-and-fucks-it-up, about it. Here’s the blurb from the back, cause it explains it all far better than I can...

“When she was nine years old, Melody Browne’s house burned down, taking every toy, every photograph, every item of clothing and old Christmas card with it. But not only did the fire destroy all her possessions, it took with it all her memories – Melody Browne can remember nothing before her ninth birthday. Now in her early thirties, Melody lives in a council flat in the middle of London with her seventeen-year-old son. She hasn’t seen her parents since she left home at fifteen, but Melody doesn’t mind, she’s better off on her own. She’s made a good life for herself and her son and she likes it that way. Until one night something extraordinary happens. Whilst attending a hypnotist show with her first date in years she faints – and when she comes round she starts to remember. At first her memories mean nothing to her but then slowly, day by day, she begins to piece together the real story of her childhood. Her journey takes her to the seaside town of Broadstairs, to oddly familiar houses in London backstreets and to meetings with strangers who love her like their own. But with every mystery she solves another one materialises, with every question she answers another appears. And Melody begins to wonder if she’ll ever know the truth about her past…”

2010-03-04T19:06:00.003Z

As you know, I'm not a girly girl...

I fail miserably at accessorising. I don't wear perfume. I can't walk in heels. I don't go gaga over babies. Or kittens. Or puppies. I don't understand all this Twilight vampire lust hoo-haa. I don't yearn for Cath Kidston. Or Orla Kiely. I don't light candles in the bath. Or in the bedroom. I don't wear lipgloss. Or lipbalm. I don't wear lingerie, I wear pants. I can just about spell chignon, let alone know how to do one....

BUT.

I have become addicted to wearing my apron whilst baking.

AND.

It's the worse looking apron you've ever seen. White cotton. Map of Cyprus. Hideous.

Any answers?

2010-02-25T19:32:00.002Z

OMG. Do Thursday evenings get any more exciting than this??!!

I’ve just discovered that those canny wee devils at my favourite cupcake porn site, Crumbs and Doilies, have a competition running in conjunction with Ollie & Nic to win not only a box of cakes, but a gorgeous little shopper bag…

You have till 14th March to enter.

Knock yourself out I say.

2010-02-25T18:58:00.002Z

I'll tell you what, the blinking time is just shifting along these days... one minute it was the festive season (which I'm sure I forgot to report on...), then it was My Husband's 40th birthday (which I'm sure I forgot to report on...), then it was Valentine's Day (which I'm sure I forgot to report on...) and bang - we are in March.

What I can tell you though, is that The Brightest Star in the Sky has had me hooked for a week, and despite my desperate dragging it out attempts, I finished it this morning on the way to an appointment in Southampton.

You know what? I didn't get what that bold letter thingymagig was you know, until almost right at the very end... and whilst I only cried the once (a miracle for me with a Marian in my hands) they were right good fat cleansing tears that left me feeling calm and happy.

She has a knack does Ms Keyes. A gift, a knack, whatever you want to call it. But she writes like a dream, creates believable characters, makes you laugh as well as cry and draws you deep into the story till you can't bear to put her books down to go to work, go to bed or go to the dinner table.

66 Star Street is a converted house with 4 flats, and this story intertwines the lives of all the inhabitants - soon to be 40 Katie and her workaholic boyfriend Conall, angry taxi driver Lydia and her Polish flatmates, telephone psychic Jemima and her gardening son Fionn and married couple Maeve and Matt.

And yes, whilst some may argue that so much "life" would never happen in such a small space, and such a small amount of time - I don't care what those people say. They can go to hell on a spacehopper as far as I'm concerned.

By hook or by crook you should get yourself to a shop this weekend and buy yourself a big gold hardback edition of this book, stop off at the supermarket on the way home for a couple of sticky buns and a nice bottle of something pink and fizzy, then whack your slanket on, turn off the phone and the TV, turn up the heating and curl up on the sofa with Marian till Monday. Enjoy.

2010-02-02T12:27:00.002Z

Good old New Work. A rather spiffing competition is currently running on our website to win a fabulous weekend to New York, including flights with Air France and three nights at the Hotel on Rivington…. I can’t enter, damn and blast it, but YOU can. Go on. You know you want to!

Treat

2010-01-27T12:51:00.008Z

For a variety of reasons, I haven't been buying any books... firstly, cause there is no room at the inn, secondly, cause He threatened divorce if I did, and thirdly, cause I still have many piles of unread novels awaiting my attention....

However, to celebrate the so-far-so-good success of my New Year Diet (I know, I know - but 8 lbs in 3 weeks ain't too shabby!) I went and treated myself to...

The Truth About Melody Browne

The Gift

The Brightest Star in the Sky

Twenties Girl

Guess how excited I am now they've arrived.... I will spend some time stroking them, and then decide which one to start first later on today.

2010-01-22T10:52:00.002Z

Those lovely people at Random House have launched a couple of online competitions to tie in with the Paperback release of the hotly anticipated new book from Sophie Kinsella… There’s one comp to win a big bunch of Benefit goodies and another to win what looks like a very nifty necklace . I’ve entered both, cause after all, you’ve got to be in it, to win it!

2010-01-18T14:08:00.001Z

I remember reading The Lovely Bones whilst stuck on reception at The Big W. I remember being incredibly moved and upset by it, and absolutely in awe of the writer’s ability to make me believe the story and the characters wholly and completely.

I haven’t read Push. I hadn’t even heard of Push till I read a newspaper interview with the author a week or so ago…and thought, crickey, that sounds awful…..

I’ve now seen the movie versions of both (don’t ask me how, or I expect I will end up in jail).

Precious (based on Push) is one of the most moving and upsetting films I have seen in many a moon, and I completely and wholly believed all the characters (including one played by my favourite crazy Pop Tart – Mariah Carey) and the story.

The Lovely Bones is one of the biggest disappointments ever to grace the silver screen… and I’m putting it in the same box I put PS I Love You and Confessions of a Shopaholic, two other brilliant books absolutely massacred in the movies…

I can only imagine how fabulous it must be to be a writer who’s book gets optioned (I believe that is the phrase), and then some bigwig Hollywood Producer dude promises you script approval and the like….and the royalty cheques must help with the gas bill. But, it must be like having your leg ripped off by a hungry hippo when you finally see your baby in all its post production glory at a red carpet preview screening and they’ve fucked it right up….

Oh, the weather outside is.....

2010-01-06T19:04:00.006Z

What a beautiful morning we had yesterday....

What a fucking shit evening we have today....

2010-01-06T12:33:00.001Z

I was so upset to read on Marian Keyes website today that she is suffering terribly with depression and can’t eat, sleep,write, read, or talk to people at the moment.

Please do, if you can, leave a message of support on her website to make sure that she knows just how very much she has loved and respected by all her readers.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

2009-12-21T20:43:00.005Z

Like the rest of London and the South, I have been sludging around since the middle of last week moaning about the weather and the knock-on effect it has had on your normal, every day services and the like... roads are fucked, trains are fucked, blah blah. But. It does n'arf make for some pretty pictures.

An Ode to The Girls

2009-12-13T20:27:00.006Z

We're here to celebrate Melly's birthday and what a year it's been,
New Baby Chase, a new country house and my very own wedding ring.
A year of good fun and great laughs, but also tears and loss,
We've shared it all, the good and bad, and always found time for a goss.

I love you girls, one and all,
You pick me up whenever I fall.
You accept my flaws, of which there are many,
And for all my crazy thoughts, you never fail to offer a penny.

Next year will be a cracker, I feel it in my bones,
So let's enjoy it all, and try and limit the moans,
We really do have so much to give thanks for,
Please feel free to stop me if I become a bore...

Next year we celebrate 10 long years together,
And I know our lives have changed and altered forever,
But I miss you girls, so here's my plan,
I know we have the Birthday thing of which I'm a fan,
But how about a regular date, on a recurring theme?
A something TBC every month, are you keen?

Either way let's raise a glass, say thanks and pray,
That we all get up tomorrow to play another day,
And as one year ends and another begins,
As Delboy would say, she who dares, wins!

2009-12-06T20:16:00.008Z

In less than 4 weeks we will be celebrating the start of another New Year. 2010 will see me hitting my 40th birthday. What on earth has happened to those years....where on earth did the time go?

As you know, I wasn't feeling a great deal of love for October, and whilst we've had some more good stuff these past few weeks - the mood is still somewhat somber in the Virtue household...but I did meet beautiful Baby Chase Bailey, the newest addition to The Girls. Such a pretty little doll, she's gorgeous... look.

and we put up the smallest desk top Christmas tree and started to get some festive cheer...

I have high (too high maybe?) hopes for December. I'm catching up with some old friends this week for drinks, I have some seasonal Ballet fun planned for Friday, we have the last Birthday Lunch gang extravaganza on Saturday...then next week there is a night out to The Union with my two spectacular author friends, an early Christmas lunch in Kent, some Christmas Eve drinks with The Mother and then the 4 day Lard-Fest begins with more turkey and Brussels action than any one person should be made to endure...

2009-12-01T16:17:00.002Z

You know what you’re going to get with a Jackie.

Sex. Scandal. Shit hot movie stars, and drug dealers, and rock gods and hookers…and Poor Little Bitch Girl has all that, and so much more.

There are some great new key players – Denver Jones – LA based attorney at law, her secretly pregnant best friend Carolyn – caught up in an affair with a Washington Senator, old friend Annabelle Maestro and her junkie boyfriend Frankie, and the gorgeous son of Lucky Santangelo – Bobby – who went to school with all three of them.

When Annabelle’s movie star mother, Gemma, is found dead – husband and fellow movie star Ralph is quick to bring onboard Denver’s law firm to protect him. Then Annabelle and Frankie’s secret business venture becomes very public just before the funeral and Carolyn’s slimy Senator lover is hatching a dastardly plan, while Bobby is caught up in everyone’s business…

What fabulous tangled webs Ms Collins spins for the reader. I love her books, I love her characters, I love everything about ‘em…

The latest very best thing...

2009-11-27T12:53:00.003Z

Last night, We, the girls from work, otherwise known as “The Circle of Trust” went out for a spot of dinner at Awana down Kensington way.

Food was good. Nice bit on wonton. Healthy option veggie stir fry thing. Non-healthy trio of choc mousse for dessert. Good. But, here’s the thing. Awana Hibiscus Champagne cocktails at £10 a pop. Sweet lord. The absolute very best drink I have sipped in many a moon.

Will be getting myself along to the nearest Lakeland for some of them hibiscus flowers in a jar asap to recreate the wonderment at home over the Christmas season. Oh yes I will.

We, The Girls, went out

2009-11-16T22:12:00.006Z

on Saturday for an early celebration of Natalia ChimmyChanga's birthday. There was dancing. And drinking. And a lot of laughing. And chips on the way home.

I swear, life gets no better than laughing with your mates. The ultimate Prozac.

There was a time before Twitter

2009-11-16T14:50:00.004Z

Back in my day, and by that I mean the late ‘70’s, early ‘80’s, people – ALL people – had respect for authority. We didn’t bang on about respect having to be earnt; we just didn’t fuck around with the police. Or teachers. Or our parents. That was just the way it was. You didn’t break the law. You went to school to learn stuff. And what your parents said, went.

There were 3 TV channels. Just three. It didn’t mean you were deprived. Or poor. You didn’t call ChildLine and claim you were being victimised. And there was one TV in the house. In the front room. And you watched what your family wanted to watch. And you turned the channels by GETTING UP. No remote. And no Freeview. Or satellite. No streaming. No MTV. No video. No DVD. No Blu Ray. No HardDriver recorder. No IPlayer. No nothing. And we just got on with it. And at the Government-decided bedtime a thing called a test card came on, and that was that. You turned it off. And went to bed.

There was a time before people comparedthemarketdotcom for the fastest broadband they could get at home. I’ll tell you what – there was a time before most workplaces had a computer, let alone every home. I hear talk of the Government proclaiming that a family has a right to fast internet connection at home. Seriously – an actual Human Right. Laptops and PC’s at home weren’t even thought of when I was a girl. I typed on an Olivetti word processor at work in 1986, and I was considered ahead of the IT game.

Of course there was crime. And kids being a nuisance. BUT. There weren’t any hoodies who would literally kick your head in if you looked at them. ASBO’s didn’t exist. Child burglars didn’t successfully sue a homeowner when they fell over and cut themselves whilst trying to break into their house. Kids didn’t sue their parents for damages cause you were sent to your room. There was no naughty step.

There was rubbish, and litter and trash. But you didn’t get fined by the local council for putting a piece of paper in the rubbish. Your tax paying dollar didn’t go towards printing a manual for road sweepers on how to pick up fallen leaves. (PS – there wasn’t any council tax… there wasn’t any poll tax either come to that!). And you know what, all the litter got collected. No fuss. No nonsense. Job done.

Your NHS contributions actually paid for your dentist and doctor fees. And you could actually get to see a doctor or dentist as well when you were poorly.

You had to wait till you got home to talk to your friends on a LANDLINE. There was one phone in the house, normally in the hall by the door. And it had a lead, that plugged into a socket. In the wall. You didn’t have a mobile, or a Blackberry. You didn’t text. There was no facebook or friends reunited, or myspace or twitter. There was no Youtube. There was the News at Ten. And there was a Newspaper. And that’s where you found out what was going on in the world.

You didn’t have a Wii. Or a PSP. Or an Xbox. Or a Game Cube. Or Nintendo. Or anything. If you were lucky you had a Merlin or a Pacman. But mostly you went outside. And played with your mates. Or stayed at home. And made something. With glue and paper and old cereal boxes. Or you painted. Or read. A book. Or an annual. Or a magazine that didn’t have air brushing or celebrity gossip….cause there weren’t such things as celebrities. You had people who were famous for actually doing something great. Not just being famous for sleeping with someone else. Or wearing less clothes than someone else. Or eating grubs in the jungle. I know!

There was no gluten free. People weren’t wheat or dairy intolerant. Jamie Oliver didn’t tell Schools what to feed our youth. You ate what you were given or you stayed sat at the table (Yes, in my day people ate at a table) till your bum went numb and it got dark outside. No-one talked about 5 a day. Or nutritional value. And let me tell you – we were healthier then than most kids seem to be these days. Child obesity was never discussed and there certainly wasn’t an epidemic of it.

You knew a lot less about the inner workings of things like public bodies, and organisations and Big Business. And quite frankly you didn’t care. MP’s probably were spending our money on beer and chips, but we never knew so we couldn’t be outraged by it. There was no Tax Payers Alliance. There was no Political Correctness. No Human Rights. People just got on with it. Living. Most normal, average people just wouldn’t dream of doing something that would physically, mentally or emotionally hurt another human being. Call me old fashioned, but I really miss that.

If you pissed someone off by saying something they didn’t like, you said sorry… or you didn’t. You didn’t get lynched. Or sacked. Or jailed for it. You were allowed to not like people for whatever fucking reason you wanted. People who supported a different football team. Went to a different school. Liked different music. Whatever man. That’s freedom of speech.

I’ll tell you what. It’s not as good today as the old days you know. We may be advancing with every passing day in science and technology and you know, other stuff. But in my opinion society has gone to the dogs. And instead of trying to “inspire the world and lead the construction of a new global order” Gordon Brown and all his other useless, money grabbing, lying toad colleagues in The Government could look a little closer to home and fix Britain, cause from where I’m sitting, its all turned to shit.

Don't patronise popular fiction by women

2009-11-12T12:05:00.001Z

Genius column on the Guardian website today …

Don't patronise popular fiction by women.

I'm fed up with seeing some of our best novelists written off as 'chick lit' – you don't see the same belittling line taken with male writers. Until May, I had two jobs. I was a writer, with three novels out, and I was an editor at one of the biggest publishers in the UK. I was lucky enough to work with many bestselling authors, but eventually writing won out, and now I am a crazy person sitting in my pyjamas eating jaffa cakes and wondering from where the crying baby in the basement flat suddenly materialised.

When I was an editor, my books were in the genre known for some reason as "commercial women's fiction". We – my colleagues and fellow publishers – loved these books and knew the truth, which is that books bought by women prop up the book trade, and that we should be proud both of the product itself and the diversion it gives hardworking people who want a good read. Now I've left, I'm looking at it from the other side – and what I see alarms me.

I am passionate about this kind of writing, but it seems to me to come in for an extraordinary amount of bile and patronising comment which I rarely see applied to novels by men in the same vein. Books – both fiction and non-fiction – reflecting women's lives, whether young or old, are labelled. Hence "chick-lit": often a derogatory term used to mean books by young women drinking chardonnay and being silly about boys, without the thought that novels by women about women might accurately reflect their lives and thus have merit or, at the very least, relevance.

It winds me up that books about young women are seen as frivolous and silly, while books about young men's lives that cover the same topics, are reviewed and debated, seen as valid and interesting contributions to the current social and media scene. Take anything from Toby Young's How To Lose Friends and Alienate People to The Contortionist's Handbook to Toby Litt or David Nicholls's One Day, or the works of Dave Eggers and Jonathan Lethem. Often these books are far more sensationalist than those by the authors' female counterparts: about how many women the protagonists have slept with, how many drugs they've done, what a crazy nihilistic time they're having in London / New York. I'm not saying they're bad books: Jonathan Lethem is one of my favourite writers and One Day is probably my book of the year. I'm just saying they aren't belittled and dismissed in the same way on the grounds of their subject-matter.

The truth is, women happily read books (and watch films and TV) aimed primarily at men. That's because women buy more and read more, full stop. They read thrillers, travel books, biographies – and yet the majority of these books are marketed for men. Women know they'll like it and give it a go. They'll happily pick up a copy of Porno, with a plastic female sex doll on the front. But men rarely try women's fiction, because they've been conditioned to think they can't pick up a book with a pink cover.

It's a real shame, because if you want to read someone who reflects women (and men's) lives with authenticity and sharp observation, someone whose books will absorb you and make you cry, there are so many options. You can do no better than Lisa Jewell or Emily Barr, or the high priestess of "commercial women's fiction", Marian Keyes. For me, The Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Bank is note-perfect, one of the best books of the last 10 years. Lauren Weisberger's The Devil Wears Prada is like a thriller of first-job hell, it's so tautly written. And Jennifer Weiner (Good in Bed, In Her Shoes, Little Earthquakes) is a genius. Her books are totally gripping, beautifully written, heartbreaking and hilarious. But I have yet to see a review of her which reflects this, except in magazines like Heat, which takes its commercial fiction seriously.

And don't get me started on the criminally undervalued women writers of the previous half-century: Dorothy Whipple, Elizabeth Taylor, Barbara Pym, even Joanna Trollope, who I think should be taught for A-level, she's so good.

It amuses me when people say, "Oh, it's a bit like Jane Austen", to denote a writer of romantic novels or sharp-eyed stories about mousy young women (Barbara Pym is always being compared to Jane Austen, I guess because they both write about spinsters. She's nothing like her.) There's something a little patronising about the tone of it, whereas books by young men are compared to older male writers as if it's a coronation, a welcoming to the literary canon. And quite often I'm left wanting to go – huh? I don't get it. There's room for both. And I know which I'd prefer to read.

2009-11-10T10:21:00.000Z

In May next year, Hodder will be publishing a brand new hardback from the ever satisfying Mike Gayle The Importance of Being a Bachelor which I finished at the weekend.

Oh My - what a cracker. I love, love, love Mike’s books, and have been a firm fan since back in the days of My Legendary Girlfriend some 10 years ago. This bad boy concentrates on the three Bachelor boys – bar owner Adam who is persuaded by his mates that WAG’s and Page 3 girls just aren’t the right type of girl to date anymore, Luke who has baggage to deal with before he can move forward with fiancé Cassie and then poor old youngest son Russell, in love with a woman he can’t have.

There is something about a dude writing books about relationships and love and stuff that I find fascinating and fabulous – and the other perspective he brings in the never ending Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus debate is refreshingly frank.

Gingerbread Latte versus Skinny Latte with a ginger syrup shot‏

2009-11-09T15:33:00.002Z

From: SJV
Sent: 09 November 2009 15:32:05
To: ukinfo@starbucks.com

Hi

As a valid and loyal customer of Starbucks for some 10 years, I am writing for clarification of your pricing policy for the above.

A venti skinny latte with a shot of gingerbread syrup should cost me £2.90 (£2.60 for the coffee, and an extra 30p for the syrup).

Why then do I have to pay £3.45 for the exact same thing, despite not wanting the cream, and infact having to specifically ask the barista to “hold the cream”?

As someone who buys a coffee every working day of the week, and will be having a skinny latte with ginger syrup shot for the entire Christmas season, I am fearful that I will end up being some £30 out of pocket just because of your “Winter Special” marketing gimmick.

I look forward to hearing from you.

With kind regards

SJV

2009-11-05T13:13:00.000Z

I have found myself with very little to say of late. I fear I have S.A.D. to go with the bog standard O.C.D.

It’s not that I am particularly peeved. Or miffed. Just a bit sullen. And sulky. Almost grumpy I would say.

Don’t get me wrong. There was some good stuff in October. We had The Niece to stay for a weekend which was fab and we took her to see Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs which was great fun. I met up with my old work buddy’s from the Big W at Ayoush and had a Moroccan feast. I had The Girls over for a Saturday night with dinner and The X Factor. I met up with my two gorgeous author chums at The Union Club again and got happily squiffy. I then had one of them (together with her husband and little girl (who is quite beautiful)) over for Sunday lunch. Me and The Husband had a day off together and chill-ax’ed on the sofa. I did some baking. And some bike riding. And almost finished my Christmas shopping already. I kept on top of the never ending chores. We watched Up and I cried my eyes out. And I even found the time to paint my nails.

But.

It’s just all overshadowed by the constant darkness. Literally.

Any one else find themselves feeling miserable?

2009-10-23T15:40:00.002+01:00

Recipe for Scandal is the brand new title publishing in January from New Work by the ever popular Debby Holt – she of The Ex-Wife's Survival Guide , Annie May's Black Book , The Trouble with Marriage and Love Affairs for Grown-Ups. Do you notice a theme here? Anyway. We have a beautiful package, the author has a huge following and is an extremely popular short story writer with over sixty stories published in women's magazines including Women's Weekly and The Lady. She writes great books, full of middle aged ladies having a whale of a time, and this one will be brilliant to curl up with on the sofa with a mug of hot chocolate and a few Nice biscuits.

Through my square window

2009-10-16T19:46:00.002+01:00

Happy Autumn!

2009-10-15T11:51:00.001+01:00

New Work has just published a rather good book - a collection of letters from celebrities written to their sixteen-year-old selves…Elton John has written the foreword and £1 from each copy sold will be donated to the Elton John Aids Foundation

Dear Me includes letters from three knights, a handful of Oscar winners, a bevy of Baftas, an intrepid explorer, a few teenage pop stars, an avid horticulturalist, pages and pages of bestselling authors, a dishy doctor, a full credit of film directors, a lovely of top actors, a giggle of comedians and an Archbishop!

The letters range from the compassionate to the shocking via hilarity and heartbreak, but they all have one thing in common: they offer a unique insight into the teenager who would grow up to be....Stephen Fry, Annie Lennox, Paul O'Grady, Jackie Collins, Fay Weldon, Alan Carr, Peter Kay, Debbie Harry, Brenda Blethyn , Jonathan Ross, Liz Smith, Will Young, Alison Moyet, Rosanne Cash, Sir Ranulph Fiennes, Yoko Ono, Emma Thompson… to name but a few.

Why not click on the link and send in your letter – I hear talk of prizes up for grabs.

Genius

2009-10-14T12:06:00.003+01:00

I thought you might like to read a letter my colleague sent to First Capital Connect earlier this year....

As you may know I am a lover of all things sarcastic, and as such consider this to be the greatest thing written in many a moon....

-----Original Message-----
From: C, R
Sent: 09 January 2009 12:45
To: julie.allan@firstgroup.com
Subject: Enquiry

Dear Julie,

Happy New Year.

As a long-standing customer of First Capital Connect I feel obliged to enquire how much longer I will be standing.

I appreciate commuting from Haywards Heath to London on your 7.23 Bedford service is unlikely to be the highlight of any of your customers' day.

Nevertheless, I feel obliged to draw your attention to the following.

Firstly, to my untrained eye it appears this train is up to four carriages shorter than other London-bound services.

Whilst I suspect providing an extra few carriages might be something you've already thought of, I felt I should mention it in case you have forgotten about the promised phased transfer of 86 class 319 trains to this service, aimed at reducing overcrowding by 2008. That's last year.

Secondly, you may have noticed that the weather this January has been on the cool side. I am well aware of the implications this has on delays on your service - have no fear, as I mentioned, I am no stranger to this commuting business and I accept this will mean delays. I do not have unrealistic expectations of FCC. Just low ones.

What I think might help is when the train arrives, they have some form of on-board heating, other than that which has been naturally formed by the huddle of standing passengers themselves, reminiscent of how emperor penguins keep warm during the fierce polar winter.

I know the trains have heating that can be switched on and off. I know this because in the summer it is on. I therefore suggest that the phasing is studied, possibly with a view to perhaps turning the heating off in the summer and on in the winter. Whilst this suggestion does not represent a net cost benefit to FCC, it might be something you'd like to consider at your next AGM?

I hope these suggestions might slightly improve the situation and thus prevent more of your customers believing that the only 100% reliable part of First Capital Connect is the fares increase each and every January.

Were it not for the fact that this latest increase was, once again, to cover 'the cost of improvements to the service' I do not feel it unreasonable to enquire when I might experience some of these improvements in return for my ever increasing contribution.

Yours sincerely

RC

Here We Go Again, and again, and again....

2009-10-08T12:38:00.002+01:00

As a firm follower and fully paid up member of the Slack Alice School of Procrastination – it should come as no surprise that I find myself with less than three months till Christmas, and my New Year’s Resolution list still not actioned.

I remember making the list. I even copied it onto some filofax paper, and stuck it in the diary section….

It went like this:

Drink 2 litres of water a day.
Drink less coffee.
Drink less Diet Coke (AKA The Juice of the Gods)
Walk more.
Ride the bike more.
Limit the bulky white carbs (flour, potatoes, rice…)
Swap white bread for brown bread.
Eat 5 a day every day.
Eat more veg.
Moisturize my hands and my lips more.
Take vitamins.
Exfoliate more.
Body brush more.

I’m quite sure I have written the same Things To Do list several times over. For several years. And yet. I still seem incapable of actually doing any of it. Shame on me.

Having slumped to a new all time low ebb, I feel compelled (again) to whisper the words “no, I’m trying to be good” when someone chucks a bun in my direction.

I refuse to call it a diet. Or a healthy eating/healthy living regime. I will not refuse ALL the goodstuff. Just most of it. Most of the time. And I will cross my fingers, and say a prayer that by The Season of the LBD I will feel better about my 17 1/2 stone bulk…

I should be so lucky...

2009-09-30T11:03:00.001+01:00

I wish that over the years, I had kept a diary of all the fabulous people I have met and events I have attended through the course of my relatively new career in the book world (trust me, things were never this interesting in housing).

Some things stick out anyway – lunches with Jenny Colgan and Louise Candlish, getting to say “good morning Mr President” to Bill Clinton, afternoon tea’s with Marian Keyes and Lisa Jewell, a meal at the chef’s table at Rhodes 24 with Gary Rhodes, a “thing” in a private room at Charlotte Street Hotel with Bernadette Strachan, being insulted by Janet Street Porter, launch party’s with Sophie Kinsella, Mike Gayle and other members of The Board, giggling with Jojo Moyes and Veronica Henry at The Romantic Novelist Award ceremony, attending the British Book Awards, meeting and talking to Jackie Collins, dinner at San Lorenzo with Gianluca Vialli, rubbing my left breast up against Gordon Ramsay…

But there are a multitude of other really quite fabulous things that have kind of merged into one another – private rooms at Sketch, river boat parties, launches at The Ivy, meals at Roka and Mint Leaf and Moro and Kew Grill, preview screenings of The Devil Wears Prada and Bridget Jones, parties at St Martins Lane Hotel… and one day when I am older, greyer and with even less control over my bladder I will look back and say, how lucky was I!

Caddle Up

2009-09-29T12:08:00.004+01:00

I am growing ever fonder of Colette Caddle. She has grown into one of my favourite current authors, and I am hopeful that her latest title to hit the UK in March next year, The Secrets We Keep, will secure her place in the hearts and minds of every other like-minded book reader.

I’ve just closed the pages of the trade edition (which we published in July for the export market) and I have a wee tear in my eye and flutter in my soul.

Colette is already a bestselling author in Ireland, but the UK has yet to jump on her with the same gusto they have with some other, more famous, Irish writers - but I have every faith that if the readers pick up her books, they will love her every bit as much as they do Cecelia Ahern or Marian Keyes….

New Work has done a cracking job on her new brand image….see….

and all it will take is one the big supermarkets to order 25k, get them on the shelves and start selling them and we will have a winner…

I have a couple of the trade editions going spare for anyone who fancies reading this latest story?

2009-09-29T10:57:00.000+01:00

So another week has slipped through the fingers, and we are in a same old same old sticky wicket situation. One moment of note to report. My second date (well, not date in the true sense of the word) with Akram Khan was no less spectacular than the first. Bahok is just the most amazingly fantastic piece of dance I think I have ever seen. It’s not ballet, it’s this - “bahok brings together 8 dancers from diverse cultures, traditions and dance backgrounds: Chinese, Korean, Indian, South-African and Spanish. As such they resemble a present day version of the tale of Babel, speaking different languages both with their bodies and tongues. They meet in one of this globalised world’s transit zones and try to communicate, to share ‘the things they carry with them’: their experiences, their memories of their original homes, the dreams and aspirations that made them move. They are carriers. They are bahok.” and it’s fucking brilliant.

2009-09-20T17:45:00.003+01:00

Another weekend, another birthday fandango. Kensington Place offers a delicious three course lunch menu and great cocktails; my chesnut and mushroom pasta with a sage foam, butternut squash and gorgonzola risotto and a pudding of peanut butter parfait, chocolate ganache and salted caramel icecream was one of the best meals I have ever eaten... happy birthday Lady Lynch, you rock!!

2009-09-18T16:00:00.002+01:00

That has got to be the shortest Summer Reading campaign in the history of reading…what a bunch of arse.

I am ever hopeful of this so called bbq autumn we keep being promised to help me in my goal of finishing at least one of the huge piles of books that are cluttering up the lounge, before a whole other bunch of other good stuff starts being published, and the books literally start taking over the world again.

Anyway. Latest to be slapped down on the finished pile is lad lit author extraordinaire Mike Gayle, who found the back of the net with his last one The Life and Soul of the Party which tells of the lives and loves of a group of thirty something mates. There is lots of angst, some infidelity, a few kids, a bunch of drinking and dancing, lots of parties, some travelling, one or two pregnancies, and a terrible death.

One thing I’ve always loved about Mike’s fiction is that the people he creates are always very normal; they don’t have fancy lives, they aren’t part of the international jet-set crew, they aren’t singers, models or movie stars, they don’t drip with diamonds, or wear designer gear from head to toe. And I love them for those reasons alone.

Silk

2009-09-14T10:39:00.001+01:00

Yesterday I went to see a workshop performance of Silk - a brand new musical drama with music and lyrics by Matthew Strachan and the script by my friend (and his wife) Bernie.

As before, when I saw their last musical Next Door’s Baby I was completely blown away and can not think of a better way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

The blurb on the website goes like this: Ruth Ellis and Albert Pierrepoint had only one, infamous meeting. But in Silk the two enjoy revealing conversations over tea and biscuits at a macabre parlour party, entertained by a louche variety bill including Albert’s predecessors, his family, Ruth’s friends and her lovers. Finally, as the clock strikes nine, it’s time for Ruth to leave. Albert is left alone with his ghosts. A psychological musical drama, Silk is teeming with half forgotten historical figures grateful for the chance to unburden themselves through a rambunctious score.

My blurb would go something like this: Bernie and Matthew are so incredibly talented and fabulous; it just takes my breath away. If I had a smidgen of their creative juice I would be smug and probably hateful. Silk has a brilliantly funny script, just the right touch of sick and wrong in places given the subject matter, and the score is worthy of a sell out season on any West End musical stage. If I was a producer person I would be beating my way to their door to snap up the opportunity of bringing this work of genius to a theatre…

Ticket to Rye....

2009-09-07T20:48:00.007+01:00

Our long weekend by the seaside ended with a bump this afternoon, and four loads of laundry waiting for us back home...

Poke Off

2009-09-03T15:54:00.001+01:00

I’ve only gone and done it.

I’ve done what I swore I wouldn’t do.

I’ve reinstated my facebook page…

I give it three days before I get poked off with it again and disable myself....

Banksy in Brentford?

2009-08-27T22:09:00.002+01:00

Numbers

2009-08-26T09:43:00.002+01:00

I’ve had 7014 visitors to this page since I added the widget that counts for me…

I have 4 books currently on the go...
My Bathroom Read is The Sister Diaries from New Work.
My Kitchen Read is Economy Gastronomy that I got suckered into buying after seeing the dude make some rather gorgeous looking brownies on TV…
My Lunchtime Read is Silent Scream - my first ever Lynda La Plante, shame on me!
My Bedside Read is The Secrets We Keep also from New Work that is coming in April next year.

I weighed in at 17 stone and 4 pounds this morning.

I left the house this morning at 7.04am precisely.

Me and Mr Husband have both the 4th and the 7th of September off… there will be kissing.

Is the universe trying to tell me something significant about the numbers 7 and 4?

2009-08-24T16:47:00.001+01:00

Waterstones.com are running a rather fabulous competition to win a stay at Blakes Hotel in South Ken to celebrate the launch of what looks like a cracking little title by sexpert Kate Taylor Domestic Sex Goddess - a book for couples in long-term relationships that answers all those rather sticky questions like: how to still fancy your partner when you've just spent 10 minutes picking his socks up off the bedroom floor? Count me in.

2009-08-24T14:50:00.001+01:00

That’s me that is.

I mean, that was me. I was one of the Coven. I wasn’t however the interesting one with the Hugh Laurie stories…

That’s also me.

I was one of the Feet gang… I also had smooth, soft and silky appendages. Not any more, let me tell you.

2009-08-24T08:42:00.001+01:00

I finished it on Friday on the way home. As ever, the authors’ words, characters, story and sentiment took my breath away. Buy it and read it.

2009-08-20T14:07:00.002+01:00

To celebrate the launch of brand new bonkbuster DIVAS New Work is giving away £100 to help you host your very own DIVAS night out.

With designer labels, luxury Manhattan penthouses, hot men, sizzling scandal, glitz and glamour, DIVAS is set to be this summer’s bonkbuster and the ultimate accessory for every girl’s handbag.

Just click on this to enter the competition, and drop me a comment below if you wanted to get your hands on a copy of the book. Look - it's all pink and sparkly. How lovely.

2009-08-18T11:44:00.002+01:00

I started it last night, and am totally engrossed and intrigued and obsessed already. It is just so beautifully written and I am completely absorbed with what happened that Summer between Olivia and Richie, and what will happen now...

2009-08-17T16:26:00.001+01:00

I finished a “been-on-the-pile-for-over-a-year” book over the weekend (whilst watching the mighty Chelsea and the outstanding Usain Bolt).

The Love of Her Life is gorgeous, it’s funny, it’s incredibly sad and I loved it.

That’s a three out of three so far from me for Harriet, as I equally loved Going Home and A Hopeless Romantic . I even adore the gorgeous branding and packaging she is given by her publishers – all sparkly and pastel colours.

So, imagine my excitement when I spied on Amazon today that her brand new book will hit the shelves in hardback in October. Me! Me! Me! I want one...

2009-08-14T10:06:00.000+01:00

Since we last spoke, my Husband and I took ourselves out of the rat race for a week, and sat on the sofa looking at one another for 72 hours before popping off for an overnight mini-moon in a rather splendid four star hotel housed within a medieval building right on the river in 30 acres of glorious Oxfordshire countryside. Bliss. We even had a meal in the restaurant, together, at a table, and spoke to one another. Wonders will never ceace.

Then last Saturday, whilst enjoying The Mother’s hospitality and minted lamp chump chops, and neither being drunk or chased by demons, I fell up her garden path, twisted, sprained and hurted my ankle. Like really really. Have been relying on a crutch (that was CRUTCH) ever since with a big old swollen hurty ligament, and am now exhausted by the whole debacle.

It has scuppered my week’s cycle schedule, and a lovely trip I had planned for this weekend to see The Sister, The Brother in Law and The Niece. However, it is some compensation that instead, we are going to the flix this afternoon (bless Summer Hours!) to watch G-Force which I am reliably informed is about secret agent guinea pigs. Exactly.

See you next week chaps, have a good one.

Oh, I do SO like to be beside the seaside...

2009-08-02T20:44:00.015+01:00

Yesterday morning at 10.30am two cars full of extremely excited ladies set off for some B&B birthday fun.

Despite the 5 hour miserable journey, we were drunk within an hour of arriving and despite the rain and staying in the Bournemouth equivalent of Fortey Towers we had cake with candles, we had fizzy falling down water, we had a gorgeous posh fish dinner, we were told off by the hotelier for being noisy (yep, nearly 40 years of age and told off by an ex-surf dude whilst wearing my pj's at 2am) and by God there was dancing... today there was a paddle in the sea, a go on the pier, a Mimosa for breakfast, and beer on the promenade and a curly icecream on the beach. Heaven. Happy Birthday Mrs Darling - you are a scream.

2009-07-27T11:28:00.000+01:00

It’s been a full on couple of weeks. To take you back – we last spoke after a rather nice Friday night at Sadler’s that The Mother and I enjoyed…

The next two days were a whirl of chores. A full on Spring Clean from top to bottom. There was laundry, bed linen changing, ironing, bathroom and kitchen scrubbing. Oh what joy!

My dear friend Nat sadly lost her dad after a long illness, so Friday afternoon I joined her at the wake. She was obviously devastated, but stayed strong for the rest of her family, and managed to look stunningly beautiful as well.

Friday night I joined my friend Lorrie and her fiancé to celebrate his 40th birthday….

Saturday we held a family picnic at the local park – I spent the morning baking a wealth of savoury and sweet lovelies, and even managed to cut up a fruit salad!

Sunday My Husband and I took The Niece off to Legoland for the day. Exhausting but fun, although without the 2 for 1 Adult ticket it would have been a shockingly expensive day….

Monday I received the painful news that my ex-boyfriend of some 15 years had passed away. We hadn’t spoken for nearly two years, and hadn’t been a part of one another’s lives for a long long time, but none the less the news knocked the stuffing out of me. I went to the church service on Friday morning, and am still reeling to be honest. It was heartbreaking, and whilst our relationship ended very badly, I will miss the memory of him dearly.

Friday evening, The Mother and I took ourselves off to the Coliseum to see the long awaiting Carlos Acosta & Guest Artists. I had been looking forward to seeing him, and his show for about 18 months – but wasn’t really in the right place to enjoy it. Carlos was breathtaking, but certainly not the highlight of the show for me.

Saturday saw us at Asda, and then home again for some chores and an afternoon nap. We watched The Secret Life of Bees and curled up on the sofa…

Then yesterday we went for a 20 mile bike ride, I had another nap on the sofa in the afternoon – and here we are, Monday morning again…

2009-07-13T12:12:00.003+01:00

Friday night The Mother and I took ourselves off to Sadler’s for a touch of Dorian Gray. Cripes, what a feast for the eyes and the loins. Sexy, scary, exquisite. Matthew Bourne and his New Adventures Company sure do know how to put on a show, and we both thoroughly enjoyed it.

Continuing in the thriller mode, I finished Still Life over the weekend – a new book from New Work coming in paperback later on this year. Not quite as scary and horrific as The Crucifix Killer, but equally as tense and gripping - it tells the tale of beautiful, successful and happily married Casey who is the victim of a hit and run accident which breaks nearly every bone in her body and plunges her deep into a coma. She is left unable to speak or move, but hears perfectly well…and learns that the accident may not be as it first appears…cracking and well worth a read.

2009-07-03T10:40:00.002+01:00

So, 40 years ago we managed to get some American dudes to walk on the moon (allegedly). We can split atoms into tiny bits of fluff. We can expand technological wizardry to the extent that even my Mum now knows how to text. And yet... bus drivers apparently need a fucking electrician to turn off the fucking heating on the fucking buses when its 32 degrees outside and about 132 degrees inside, cause they haven’t been on a 12 weeks course to learn how to master the fucking OFF button yet. And... Even when we finally get air conditioning on the tube in 2010 the trains are too big and the tunnels to narrow and too deep on the Central line that it will still be like a fucking sauna down there… and I will still want to cry and cry and cry cause the journey is so fucking unbearable.

We can get microchips tiny enough to fit in pen nibs to take photos. We can get microchips tiny enough to store millions of megapixies of information on something the size of a postage stamp. But we can't work out how to put a fucking fan on the fucking ceiling of a fucking train – or, shock horror, have fucking windows that open!

I literally want to stab someone in the eye with a plastic fork. Anyone. I know! I’ll start with Bob Fucking Crow. Why? Cause he’s a cunt.

2009-07-02T10:01:00.003+01:00

If I used all my various digits and appendages, I could probably name all the books I’ve ever read (as an adult) that were outside of my chosen genre…and perhaps still have enough fingers to lick some raw chocolate cookie mixture off… (I digress).

I’ve dabbled in a bit of crime, a bit of award winning contemporary fiction… I’ve even (heaven help me) tried a touch of SciFi and Fantasy. But, if I was EVER to swap allegiance from all things pink and sparkly, it would be to the disturbing and troubling world of the Thriller.

This morning, on my extended journey to work (does anyone know what the fuck was going on with the Uxbridge Road today?) I finished one of New Works new books The Crucifix Killer - a thriller if ever I’ve seen one.

The book I finished on Sunday night before I started on Crucifix was the last one from Matt Dunn Ex-Girlfriends United which was fine. Fine and dandy. Fun, fine and dandy. Not spectacular, not ground breaking – but a good laugh, and a great Summer Read.

So Crucifix has been a right old shock to the system. Gruesome. Chilling. Tense. Tightly packed. Gripping. ..a Thriller in every sense.

If you wanted to get your hands on my proof copy, drop me a random comment below.

Snaps from the weekend...

2009-06-28T19:22:00.002+01:00